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Sailor Ranko: Just Add Water: Chapter 14, I Love You!
Rebecca Ann Heineman

Ranma 1/2 and the characters therein are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. Based on "Sailor Ranko" by Duncan Zillman and "Twice in a Millennium" by Kevin D. Hammel.

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or make me watch an episode of Barney and friends. That is too cruel.

Shampoo arrived at Juuban High School and rode her bike to the main entrance. She heard screaming coming from the gym so she rode toward that direction. She arrived to find a giant sumo pig arriving from the opposite way. "Nihao Ryoga!"

The pig stopped in front of the gym. Several people were trying to force the front door open and couldn't.
Ryoga jumped off Katsunishiki and helped Akari get down. Shampoo rode up next to Ryoga and stopped right on top of him. Shampoo was wearing her Chinese pantsuit and black slippers.

Ryoga was crushed under the mystical flying bicycle from the seventh circle of hell. "Nihao to you too Shampoo. Ugh."

Shampoo parked her bike. "Ryoga travel far from home. Why you in Juuban Ryoga?"

Ryoga tried to get up. He was in pain. He rubbed the tire tracks off of his face. "I could ask you the same thing Shampoo. I'm here to find Happosai."

Shampoo got mad at the mention of that name. "Happosai? Why you want Happosai. Happosai evil man."

Ryoga pulled himself up off the ground, "Everyone is looking for that pervert. He cast a spell on my wife and I'm here to get the cure."

Inside the gym was the sound of magical attacks that came from the Sailor Senshi. It was followed by an evil laugh. Shampoo noticed the people trying to open the door got more desperate. "I must help." She pulled out her bonbori, "Get out of way!" The three men trying to open the door saw the crazed Amazon charging them and moved aside. Shampoo struck the door and it cracked but didn't break.

Shampoo bounced back, concentrated her ki and spun around and slammed the door in the same spot. The door shattered. "There!" She started to move forward when several dozen people poured out and flattened her onto the ground.

Ryoga covered his eyes. He didn't want to see Shampoo being trampled by the rush of people escaping from the gym. He waited a moment and heard Shampoo's voice, "Why you cover eyes Ryoga?"

Ryoga turned to see Shampoo standing next to him with her pantsuit slightly worn from the trampling but otherwise she was fine. "I dodge good, no?"

Ryoga gave a happy look, "I'd say you dodge good, yes."

A sound of breaking glass could be heard. Shortly thereafter, Pantyhose Taro's voice started yelling at someone and a fight broke out. The fight was causing property damage. The people started streaming out at a faster rate. Ryoga ki jumped over the crowd to the side of the building. Shampoo followed. Inside the building there was flash of yellow light that could be seen from the windows high above the wall. A demonic laugh followed. Ryoga examined the wall, "That doesn't sound good. We need to get in. BAKUSAI TENKETSU!" He struck the wall and the debris flew in Ryoga's face throwing him across the walkway into the next building. He was unconscious and slid to the ground.

Shampoo huffed, "Ryoga, you remember breaking point cause small explosion. Gas line make big explosion. Remember that later." She turned to the wall. Ryoga only destroyed the outer layer. It still needed a few more hits to break through. She held her bonbori tight and concentrated on her strike.


A cab arrived at the front entrance to Juuban High School. Kasumi paid the driver as Genma, Soun and Nodoka disembarked. Genma made a manly stance. "Well Tendo, it looks like the master isn't here."

Soun make a manly stance as well. "I concur Saotome. I see that everything is under control."

Genma gave a look of confidence to Soun, "I completely agree." He looked down the street. "I think the master may over at the Junior High School."

"Perhaps you're right. Let's go there."

Nodoka interrupted, "What makes you think they are at the Junior High."

Genma puffed up his chest, "I am a master of Anything Goes martial arts. I know these things."

A rumbling sound was heard and then dozens of people came around a corner and ran for the front entrance. The four jumped to the side to avoid getting trampled as fifty people ran by. A man paused in front of them, "Run for your lives! A tiny old man turned into a youma!" He raced down the street in panic.

Nodoka glared at her husband, "Happosai is not here eh?"

Soun made a pose. He pointed in the direction from the people were coming from. "The Junior High is that way, right Saotome?"

"Right you are!" The two men started walking toward the gym. They were not in a hurry. Kasumi and Nodoka broke into a run. They heard a sound like an explosion coming from a building in back of the High School.

Genma and Soun exchanged worried glances. Soun whispered, "I hope the Sailor Senshi can get rid of the master."

"I hope so too for our sake. The master can get very cranky if he doesn't get his way."

"True Saotome, I hope the Senshi can seal him away forever."

They both smiled at the thought. A world without Happosai would be a much better place.


The demon finished his laugh. It was reveling in its triumph. The Sailor Scouts just stood there like statues. All around them were screaming and shouting of the people as they escaped through the front door. In less than a minute, only the warriors remained.

A wall exploded. Shampoo stood in the center of the hole holding her bonbori in an attack stance. She jumped in, saw Ranma from behind and glomped him. Ranma sighed, "Not now Shampoo!"

Sailor Io shook her head. She expected nothing less from Shampoo. Shampoo saw the demon and immediately took an attack stance next to Ranma. "What that?"

Ranma answered, "Bad news."

Sailor Moon slowly spoke to the demon, "You want to destroy all the underwear in the world. You're kidding right?"

The demon scratched its head, "Why would I kid about something like that?"

Shampoo got wide eyed. She heard what the demon had planned from Sailor Moon. "You mean you serious?" She quickly checked her clothes. Yep, all of her clothes were intact.

Happosai whimpered. "No more panties? Wah!!!!" Deep inside Happosai was planning on glomping the Sailor Scouts once they destroyed the demon. He couldn't wait to going back to harassing women. No underwear meant that there was less fabric to remove. He held back the massive smile he wanted to make. He just had to keep the demon from knowing the truth about his love for women's breasts.

Ranma was holding back from laughing, "You are going to make all the underwear in the world disappear. He he he. That's pretty lame."

The demon was confused, "What did you think I was going to do?"

Ranma crossed his arms and shook his head, "We thought you're going to do something really evil. Hmm... Like turning all the women into men or going on a killing spree."

Happosai went totally white with terror. Ranma just blew his cover.

The demon was taken aback, "I'm the demon of pain and suffering. I don't kill people. Now, my cousin is the demon of death." The demon put a bucket down and produced a cell phone made of bones and other icky material that if described would blow the PG rating. "Want me to call it up?"

Ranma took a step back and held his hands up. "No! Don't trouble yourself! You've already done enough already."

The demon placed its clawed hand under its chin in contemplation. It sensed the change in Happosai and read his deepest fears. It snapped its fingers. The demon smiled a huge grin. "Wait! Why didn't I see that before? That's an excellent idea! Thanks pig tailed one!"

Happosai turned to Ranma, "Ranma you FOOL! You've doomed the human race!"

All the warriors in the room gazed at Ranma. Ranma looked around at the angry faces, "What'd I do?"

The demon laughed, "Happosai! You tricked me! Women's underwear is not your greatest desire! It's women!" It threw the water from the bucket it held and it spattered on the force field. Sailor Venus jumped out of the way assuming the water was meant for her. The demon aimed its finger at the roof. It shot a beam of energy and a hole was cut in the ceiling and water started dripping in.

Sailor Mars and Sailor Io jumped out of the way to avoid the water from touching them. The demon waved its hand and the water formed a perfect sphere and floated into its grasp. It started to summon deep dark magic. "I will now change all women of the world into men! Oh, the suffering will be worldwide! Not just for you but for all humankind! HA HA HA HA!" The creature began to chant and the water ball started to grow.

Happosai turned into a statue and fell to pieces. It was bad enough to live in a world without women's underwear. A world without women was not a world worth living in. He wanted to find Nodoka and have her help him commit seppuku.

Ukyou, Shampoo, Kodachi, the Sailor Scouts and every other female in earshot gave a look of pure hatred at Ranma. Ukyou shouted, "Ranma! You're such a jackass!"

Ranma turned to Ukyou, "I'm not the one casting the spell!"

Ukyou got in Ranma's face and brought her spatula over her head to land a blow, "You gave it the idea stupid!"

"Ranma you jerk!"

"Airen is dumber than Mousse!"

"Ranma darling! How could you?"

"RANMA! PREPARE TO DIE!" Ryoga entered the room through the hole Shampoo made. Ryoga leapt over to Ranma, "IT'S REALLY ALL YOUR FAULT!" Ranma dodged the umbrella and rolled away from the barrage of bandannas, spatulas, bonbori, explosive volleyballs, and a Lava Blast spell.

"Hey! Cut it out!" Ranma continued to dodge Ryoga's charge while avoiding everyone else's attacks. "The demon is the enemy! Not me!"

While the fiance patrol was playing with Ranma, Pantyhose Taro woke up and ran to the injured Happosai. He hit the force field. He pressed against it. He bellowed, "I have you now Happosai! You will give me a worthy name or in the name of my family honor and true justice, I will punish you!"

Sailor Moon took offense, "Hey! That's my line!"

Sailor Mars tapped Moon on the back of the head, "Can it meatball head!"

Taro made a flying leap and the force field buckled. Sailor Mars fired a Fire Soul attack and the force field changed to deflect the attack. Taro jumped at Happosai and passed through the field as if it wasn't there. Happosai recovered enough to jump out of the way just before Taro's leg made contact on his skull. Happosai left behind a firecracker that exploded forcing Taro into the air. Happosai ran outside of the force field. The demon changed the field again. The force field could only deflect magical or physical attacks but not both at the same time.

Sailor Jupiter saw where the freak jumped to and cast "Supreme Thunder Dragon!" The lightning barbecued the butt of Happosai and he changed his jump to land on the ground. He rubbed his butt on the hardwood floor to put out the fire.

Sailor Moon waved to her warriors. "Forget him! Attack the demon!" The Scouts prepared their attacks, "Hit the demon's chest!" The demon altered its force field to protect against magic. Sailor Moon cast Moon Spiral Heart Attack and the other Scouts fired at the same spot on the demon. Sailor Io fired her ki based Thunder Hammer Strike instead of using magic.

The magic attacks were stopped but the ki attack passed through the force field. The demon howled in pain and almost dropped the ball of water. "That hurt!" It used a fingernail and flicked a small ball of water from the large ball toward Sailor Io. Io jumped out of the way and the water whizzed by and hit Nodoka in the chest. She had just arrived at the doorway of the gym.

A very male Nodoka stood drenched and looked at his new form. Kasumi exclaimed, "You look so manly!"

Kasumi was the next one struck. He screamed. It wasn't because he was male. It was because his dress was too tight on him. Nodoka grabbed Kasumi's hand and they ran outside. All the females noticed other girl's change and grew fearful of their upcoming maleness. Ryoga didn't notice the change, he was too busy chasing Ranma.


Soun and Genma were hiding in a bush outside the gym. They saw Nodoka and Kasumi stand against the wall near the doorway. Kasumi was unbuttoning her blouse to loosen it. Soun stood up from his hiding place, "Kasumi!"

Kasumi called out in a deep voice, "I'm ok father!"

Nodoka felt manly. He was angry that his husband was being a coward. He unsheathed his katana and held it in his hands. He had no idea how to use the weapon, but he was ready to defend his son.

Soun was pulled back down by Genma, Genma whispered, "Tendo, if my wife stays a man, I'll never hear the end if it!" Genma instinctively placed his hand on his neck as if he was expecting a blade to make contact there.

Genma shuddered in realization. His wife was a he. Nannichuan! "Tendo! There's Nannichuan in there." He jumped up and ran to the gym.

Nodoka saw his husband running up the walkway to the gym. He was proud of his husband. He was going to join in the fight as a true brave man would. He hoped that his husband had become the man he married. Genma stopped in front of Nodoka. He looked him over. "Where is the Nannichuan?"

Nodoka was livid. "Nannichuan! Is that all you care about! You ruined Ranma's wedding because of your obsession with that stuff." Genma went flying into the air and landed in the bush. He was knocked out cold.

Kasumi lowered his leg back down. He bowed to Nodoka. "I guess I don't know my own strength in this body." He giggled. "I learned that kick from Akane."


The demon held its hands near the ball of water and invoked powerful magic. The ball of water grew larger and larger.

Kodachi shoved Ranma, "I'm not joining the MEN'S gymnastic team!"

Shampoo was fuming, "I no want be man! Man disgusting!"

Ukyou was on the sidelines watching the demon. She had her battle spatula ready to swap away any water balls that came her way. She thought about it, "Well I won't have to ditch too much of my wardrobe and I can stop wearing these stupid bindings."

Happosai was crying, "No more pretty ladies! Wahhhh! Wahhhh!"

Ryoga charged Ranma again, "DIE RANMA!" Ranma kicked Ryoga away and ran from him.

Ranma noticed that whenever Happosai spoke, the demon grew in power. Ranma yelled out, "It's Happosai! That's the demon's source of power!"

Ukyou screamed, "Let's kill him!"

Ranma stormed over to Happosai and started to pound on the little freak to get him to shut up. Happosai offered no defense. He was in too much pain and agony to fight back. The other girls joined in. The Scouts held back waiting for the Nerima crew to tenderize him before they finished the job.

The demon's water ball grew at an accelerated rate. "Yes! The delightful pain! It fills me! It is neat!"

The ceiling cracked and Tatewaki fell into the gym onto the center of the volleyball court and was caught in the net. The martial arts volleyball net was designed to entrap players who touched it. Like a spider web, Kuno was ensnared. He awoke and called out to his love. "Sailor Io, I love you. I will date with you."

Sailor Io cast a hateful glare at Kuno. She grabbed a volleyball and threw it at Kuno. It exploded on contact. He was unconscious again. Io was pleased, she didn't want to listen to him recite poetry or grab her while she was saving the world.

Cologne arrived and saw the melee. Mousse came from the men's room and was a man again. He ran to Shampoo's side to defend her. He joined the free for all in trying to land a blow on Happosai.

The water ball grew. Cologne looked at the crowd of Happosai's admirers and saw the pattern. "STOP!" She jumped up and pulled away Shampoo. She then kicked Kodachi away and spun with her stick outstretched to hit most of the people to get their attention.

The crowd pulled back to see why someone would defend Happosai. Cologne stood next to the old fossil. "Can't you see? His suffering is what's fueling the demon." She pointed to the demon whose water ball was already three meters across and growing slowly.

The demon saw the people were watching it. "Don't mind me. I'll be done in a minute." It went back to concentrating on the Nannichuan ball.

A rose appeared out of nowhere. It passed through the shield and hit the ground in front of the demon. The demon looked up to the window where a man dressed in black stood.

Tuxedo Mask stood rigid and his cape flowed in the wind. "Sailor Moon, believe in yourself and you will prevail."

Ranma held back the urge to throw up.

Sailor Moon gained confidence. She pointed her wand at the demon and all the Sailor Scouts cast their attack spells on the monster. The shield was able to withstand the attacks. Sailor Moon started crying. "I don't want to be a Moon prince! I'm a Moon PRINCESS!"

Tuxedo Mask gave a strange look at Sailor Moon. He flashed an image of Usagi as a guy. He became a little sick. He pushed that image away and threw a dozen roses at the demon. "Don't you dare change Sailor Moon!"

Sailors Neptune, Uranus and Saturn appeared at the doorway. They saw Kasumi and Nodoka so they knew that Nannichuan was involved in this combat. Sailor Uranus wasn't that concerned about her imminent sex change. She looked at Neptune and freaked out at the vision of her love being a male, "World Shaking!"

The demon began to laugh. The attacks were only doing minor damage to the shield. It would finish the spell long before they could do any real harm to it. "Happosai, you will now experience the final level of pain!" It began to invoke the chant to release the spell.

Ranma was at a loss. Happosai's pain was fueling the magic. He had to stop Happosai's pain. He caught a flash of inspiration. It would remove what tiny shred of dignity he had left in the world. He couldn't let Akane down. He ran over to Happosai. "Hey, wanna see Ranko naked?"

Happosai smiled for a moment and nodded yes. The demon's energy started to fade. "What is this?"

Happosai frowned, "But you can't be a girl again... WAHHHH!" The demon's energy began to grow again.

Ranma didn't want to give up. He saw Kuno in the volleyball net. He jumped over everyone and landed next to Kuno. He shoved his hand into Kuno's shirt pocket. "I hope those pictures are here." Ranma thought. He hoped he was right. He hoped that Tatewaki was as sick and perverted as he thought he was. He found and pulled out a packet of pictures. Ranma opened the envelope and blushed. "Whoa!" He ran back to Happosai.

Happosai was being stomped on by Taro. "Give me a new name you old man!" Ranma flew in and struck Taro to the ground. Taro flew backwards and into the wall next to a water cooler. Shampoo struck him again to keep him down. Shampoo was happy to help her husband.

Ranma sat next to Happosai. Ranma grimaced and cast away what remained of his pride. He shoved a fake nude photo of Ranko that Nabiki made for Kuno into Happosai's face. "Take a look at this!"

Happosai started to drool. "PRETTY LADY!"

Ranma knew he was never going to live this down. He formed the heart of ice. He shed the last of his dignity and threw it out the window. "Kodachi! Shampoo! All you girls! I need your bras!"

The girls stopped and yelled together, "PERVERT!"

"Do you want to be guys?"

A pile of bras was thrown on Happosai in a few seconds. He was covered in the warmth of fresh scent of females. He was regaining his happiness. "Oh Ranma! I am so happy! I can die now!"

Ranma wanted to grant that wish right that second. He turned to the demon that was watching his water ball shrink. The shield was fading out. Ranma shouted, "Everyone! Attack the demon!"

Kodachi grabbed several volleyballs and threw them at the monster. They exploded all around it. The creature had to exert a lot of effort to keep the water ball from being hit. The monster shot an energy blast at Kodachi, but missed and hit Tatewaki. He was roasted. He muttered, "I love you. I will date with you."

Ukyou threw spatulas injuring the creatures left arm. Konatsu peppered it with throwing stars on the right arm. The demon was getting annoyed. Shampoo threw her bonbori and struck it twice on the back of the head. The demon bellowed, "No more Mr. nice guy!"

Sailor Moon took a stance and began her attack. The demon saw that she was the leader of the Senshi and flicked a ball of water at Moon. She was so focused on her attack that it hit her on the forehead. Instantly, her fuku changed to red ribbons and back into her normal human form. Usagi looked really dumb as a guy in a Juuban High School sailor fuku. "Huh? AHHHHH!"

Usagi covered his face to prevent anyone from seeing him and recognizing him. He ran behind the other Scouts. The other girls finished their spells and hit the demon in the chest. Saturn shot her Silence Glaive and made the creature stumble. "Hey! Can't I have any fun?" The demon started to throw water balls at anything that moved.

Everyone started dodging in every direction. No one wanted to share in Usagi's fate. Ranma didn't care since he was already affected by the water he leapt and struck the shield. He bounced off and landed facing the demon. "MOKO TAKABISHA!" He fired a ki blast and the shield shattered.

Happosai was happy. He was rolling around in the pile of bras regaining his life energy. Happosai's happiness allowed Ranma to be able to destroy the shield.

Ryoga stood next to Ranma. Sailor Io stood next to Ranma. Ranma called the target. "Hit the Nannichuan!"

Ryoga got depressed. He didn't want to destroy his cure. He had to save Akari. "SHI-SHI-HOKODAN!"



They hit the demon's ball of water and it burst into a fine mist. Sailor Io performed a backflip to stay away from the water vapor. Ryoga and Ranma glanced at each other and jumped at the creature. Ranma struck the head while Ryoga kicked the leg to knock it over.

Mousse heard the word he wanted to hear for a long time. He yelled, "Nannichuan!" He jumped into the mist. "I'm cured! Yes!"

The demon was surprised that its spell was interrupted. "Now I'm mad!" It raised its fist to smash Ryoga into the ground. Ryoga rolled out of the way to avoid instant death. Mousse cast out a chain and entangled the arms of the demon. It flexed its muscles and snapped the chain. It threw the links at Mousse and smashed him against a wall.

Sailor Mars pulled out the silver stasis box from subspace. She held out the ward she made. She had to make a sacrifice. She jumped toward the demon and into the fine fog. He became male. He lost his Sailor fuku and he ran closer to the creature. He held out the ward and shouted, "Demon Lord Entrap!" He held the lid of the box toward the monster and with the words, the top popped open.

The demon had a surprised look on its face. It recognized the box. "NOOOO!!! CAN WE DISCUS THIS OVER DINNER? AHHHH!!!" It legs changed into a black cloud and flowed into the box. The demon's head and torso were still intact and it dug its claws into the hardwood floor.

Rei held the box before him. The power was intense. The demon was not going quietly. The demon struggled, "Must... Evolve..." It released one arm and held itself in place with the other. It aimed a finger at Happosai and fired an energy beam. Rei was worried. The box should have trapped the demon by now. Rei hoped that his ward was strong enough to contain the beast.

Happosai jumped out of the way in time. The collection of bras was incinerated. Happosai screamed, "NO! NOT MY NEW COLLECTION! WAH!"

Pantyhose Taro saw an opening. He leapt and grabbed Happosai while he was mourning the loss of his loved ones. "Give me my name you wretch!" He landed on the ground and began pounding the little freak into a wall. He spun and smashed the water cooler with Happosai's head. The water hit Taro and he transformed into the Yeti/Eel/Stork/Bull and intensified his pummeling.

Ranma pulled out his thermos and hit Taro with the hot water changing him back to human form. Ranma tried to wrestle Happosai from Taro. Taro was in anguish at the loss of his cursed form and directed his hatred to Ranma for trying to take Happosai away from him. Taro knew that a new name was only moments away.

The demon felt the glorious pain. It absorbed energy from Taro and Happosai. The intensity of the hatred between those two was enough for the demon to evolve. "YES! YES! YES!" A bright yellow light engulfed the demon. The light changed to a purple color and the demon shrank in size.

Everyone stopped and gasped at the new form of the demon. Rei fell to the ground. His entrap spell was broken. A form of pure evil stood before them. His ward was made to hold a demon lord. The thing before him was the lord of all demons. It was the embodiment of evil.

Tuxedo mask screamed, "No! Not that!" He ran away. Kodachi fainted.

The creature was the most foul vile creature ever to grace the surface of the earth. There were things that were unholy. This creature was the definition of UNHOLY!

It stood two meters tall. It had spikes on the back of its neck to the tip of its one and a half meter tail. It was covered in a soft felt like fur with large green spots. Its purple color masked the true horror that the demon possessed. The hands and arms were human sized but with extremely wide fingers.

Its head was the most hideous. It was large with two huge purple eyes and a giant smile that seemed to contain a single mouth sized tooth on the upper and lower jaw.

He spoke in a goofy voice. "Hyuk, hyuk, Hi boys and girls! I love you!"

Barney the Dinosaur had come back from being banished from this plane. It took Buffy and 2 other slayers and the destruction of six city blocks in Los Angeles to lock it away from the PBS television station. It must be sent back into the stasis box.

Rei was the closest to it. He could feel his IQ dropping by being in its foul presence.

All the warriors felt their minds being drained. Soon they would all be blithering idiots sitting in a circle and singing stupid songs.

Tatewaki repeated his mantra, "I love you. I will date with you. I love you. I will date with you."

Rei held the box out again. His IQ was dropping quickly and he didn't have much time. "Demon Lord Entrap!"

Barney smiled. It was the only facial expression that it could do. "Ah, why did you do that? Don't you see that I love you?" He clasped his hands together and danced a stupid jig. His legs turned into a purple cloud that was sucked into the silver containment box. Barney couldn't hold on and slid to the box so that his shoulders and head remained. "I want to play with you! Hyuk!"

Rei remembered what was missing. He called out the words of power. "Klatuu, Barada... Uh... Uh..." His brain was shrinking. "Nickel!"

Barney taunted him. "Can't trap me if you don't know the words."

Rei glanced at the other warriors. Ryoga was making piggy noises. Ranma and Sailor Io were playing patty cake. Ukyou was admiring her reflection in her spatula. Shampoo was spinning her bonbori like a top. The scouts were admiring each other's dresses and Mr. Usagi was sucking his thumb. Sailor Mercury and Cologne were the only ones who still had any brains left, but they were losing it rapidly. Rei realized that his ward was protecting him but he didn't have much time left.

He tried to remember the words. "Klatuu... Barada... Necktie!"

Happosai had to save the women of the world. He shouted, "It's Nikto! Say Nikto!"

Barney was terrified, "Happosai! Why did you tell her! I thought that we were friends!"

Rei had one shot left, "Klatuu, Barada, Nikto!"

Barney screamed, "NOOOOOO!!!!" He turned into a purple cloud and went into the box. The box emitted a bright light and an earth-shattering boom echoed across the gymnasium. Everyone was knocked to the ground. Rei passed out. The box fell to the ground. The room was silent.


Happosai was dreaming, "Now I get to touch the pretty ladies!" He was thinking about where he will strike first. The bathhouse, the hot springs or maybe the girl's locker room would be the first place to explore. He woke up with a katana poking his chest.

Nodoka stood above Happosai. She held the katana firmly on top of Happosai to prevent him from moving. She pointed the silver box at him.

Happosai smiled. "That only works on demons. Ha ha ha!"

Nodoka smirked. "Yes, I believe it does." She held out Rei's ward. "Demon Lord Entrap!" The box popped open and Happosai turned into a black cloud and was sucked in. "Klatuu, Barada, Nikto!" The box closed and Nodoka placed the seal on the box and locked it tight. She gave a tiny laugh of satisfaction.

Nodoka spoke to the box. "Women are not as weak or as useless as you think they are. We can defend ourselves from scum like you." She turned to the unconscious body of Sailor Io. She kissed her daughter-in-law on the cheek. She walked to Ranma and kissed him as well. Her children were very brave. She walked over to Rei and left the box next to her. She went outside to Kasumi. "It's over. Let's go home." Kasumi and Nodoka turned and went home. They left Soun and Genma to fend for themselves. If the girls were lucky, the men would leave on a training journey and learn the meaning of courage.


Ranko was in a dark place. She had been floating there for a long time. She was lonely and terrified. She had no idea where she was or what had happened to her. She had cried for hours and she was out of tears. She floated in the dark for what seemed like an eternity. A light appeared. She flew to the light. The light felt like home.

Ranma came to. He had a very strange dream. He looked around and saw all of the warriors scattered everywhere on the ground. He held his head to relieve the headache he was feeling. He remembered what happened. Well, most of what happened. The moments after the demon changed color, his memory was a bit fuzzy.

He used his Senshi sense and knew exactly where Akane lay. He ran over to her and saw that she was ok. He breathed a sigh of relief. He gently tapped her face to wake her. "Sailor Io?"

Sailor Io fluttered her eyes open. "Ranma? What happened?"

Ranma helped Io up, "I guess the creature was banished."

"WAHH!!" Usagi woke up and was crying. "I'm a moon prince! I don't wanna be a prince!" Sailor Jupiter cupped her hand over her mouth to shut her up. She bumped Usagi's chest to show that she wasn't a prince anymore. Usagi started to happily cry. Sailor Jupiter dragged Usagi out the hole in the wall and to a hiding place so she could change back into Sailor Moon.

The other warriors started to wake up. Rei picked up the box holding the demon and shoved it into subspace. She was going to have to figure out where to get rid of it later. She ran off to transform before anyone else saw her as Rei.

Taro was pissed. He was angry that he still didn't get his new name. He looked around for Happosai but he was nowhere to be found. "Happosai! Where are you?" He went to the broken water cooler and found enough water to splash himself. He flapped his wings and flew out of the gym and started his futile search for Happosai.

Shampoo woke up. Mousse was kneeling next to her. He was massaging her hand. Shampoo at first wanted to pull away. She softened a tiny bit and allowed Mousse to caress her hand. The sensation was pleasant. Cologne sighed. She thought, "Maybe there is hope for Mousse after all."

Mousse happily announced, "I'm cured Shampoo. I'm a complete man again. I'll prove it." Mousse produced a water bottle from his sleeve and poured it on himself. "QUACK!"

Konatsu woke Ukyou up. Ukyou rubbed her head, "Man I had the strangest dream. I thought I saw a purple dinosaur. Isn't that the silliest thing you can imagine?" Konatsu and Ukyou laughed.

Kuno spoke his mantra while still in the volleyball net. "I love you. I will date with you."

Kodachi got up and cast off her volleyball uniform to reveal a tank top leotard. She spun around an gave a wicked laugh. "Ranma darling..." She stopped when she saw that Ranma was holding Sailor Io's hand. "I see. There is a new girl in his life. Hmm... I wonder what Akane will think." She spun and pranced off leaving a trail of black rose petals.

Ryoga came to and saw Ranma. He leapt up, grabbed his umbrella and charged. "DAMN YOU RANMA!" Ranma jumped and dodged Ryoga's umbrella. "Ryoga! It's not my fault!"

Akari ordered her husband. "Ryoga! Stop!"

Ryoga stopped dead in his tracks. "Akari? You... You're ok?" Akari held out her arms and leapt onto Ryoga. She gave him a huge hug and Ryoga returned the hug almost crushing her to death. She gasped for air and fell over.

Ryoga turned to look at Ranma. "Ranma! This is YOUR FAULT!"


Outside the gym, Ranma watched the Senshi gather. Sailor Moon came up to him and gave him a hug. "I wish you could be Sailor Sun again. I miss her."

He hugged her back. "I miss her too." He felt something that he thought he had lost. He could sense them. He had Senshi senses. Ranma reached up and pulled out his henshin stick from subspace. "Oh my god!"

Sailor Moon let go. "What's the matter?" She saw the henshin stick in his hand. She gasped for joy and put her hands on her mouth to muffle the glee.

Ranma sensed that no one else other than the Senshi was watching. Ranma held up his stick. "Sun Star Power! Make Up!" The stick sprayed Ranma with the water mist and Ranko for a moment stood there. She spun around and transformed into Sailor Sun.

Sailor Moon and the other eight Scouts cheered. Their teammate had returned from the dead. Moon hugged Sun, "Oh Sun!"

Sun hugged her back. "Oh Moon!"

Sailor Io got wide eyed as she saw Sailor Sun holding Moon. "Ran... Uh... Sailor Sun?"

Sailor Sun turned to look at Sailor Io. She gave a cocky grin. "Who did you think it was?" Sailor Io didn't think. She reacted. She ran over to Sun and embraced her.

Sailor Moon faced the other girls. "The police will be here any moment. Let's go everyone!" The Sailor Scouts all ran off.

Sailor Io and Sailor Sun wanted a moment alone. They changed back. Akane touched Ranko's red hair. "It's really you! You're back."

Ranko smiled. "You can't keep a good girl down."

Akane smiled, "For better or for worse."

Ranko held her wife, "Until death do we part."

Ukyou came out of the gym and watched the two holding each other. She smiled. "C'mon sugars. Let's get out of here." She took Akane's and Ranko's hand and they jumped onto the rooftops away from there. Konatsu followed.

Shampoo crossed her arms. "Ukyou getting too friendly with pervert girls. Maybe Ukyou pervert girl too."

A hot water drenched Mousse knelt next to Shampoo, "I love you Shampoo! Say you'll be my wife!"

Shampoo looked skyward and jumped towards the Cat Cafe. Mousse ran after her. "Please Shampoo! I can still be cured!" Cologne shrugged and followed them home.

Kuno chanted, "I love you. I will date with you."


Genma and Soun saw that they were all alone in the bushes in front of the gym. "Well Tendo?"

"Well Saotome?"

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"I think so Saotome. But if they kill off the teletubbies, wouldn't they be replaced by a greater evil?"

Genma thought about that. "Yeah, I guess you are right. Let's get drunk Tendo."

"Why not?" The two of them walked to the street and went to the nearest bar.


Ukyou took Akane and Ranko to a back alley away from prying eyes. She stopped and leaned against a wall. "Ok, you can go with your friends now." She gave a look of sadness and slid down to the ground.

Akane felt bad for Ukyou. She knew that she wanted to be a Senshi. It was every girl's dream. She pulled out her henshin stick. "Want to hold it?"

"Can I?" Ukyou happily held the stick. She could feel the power that was contained inside. She held it up and cried, "Io Star Power! Make Up!" Ukyou held her eyes closed and imagined what the transformation felt like. She opened her eyes and saw she was still Ukyou. She slowly lowered her hand and lovingly gazed at the yellow stick. "It was worth a try." She held the stick close to her heart. She for a moment was a magical girl in her mind.

Akane smiled. "It's Io Lumina Power! Make Up!"

"Can I try?" Konatsu popped out of a trashcan. He was hiding in it.

Ranko giggled. Akane raised an eyebrow and tilted her head in his direction. Ukyou tossed the stick to him. He looked at it and held it up. "Io Lumina Power! Make Up!" Nothing happened.

Ukyou sighed. "Well sugar. If you need any help in the future. Could you please call me?"

Ranko put her hand on Ukyou's shoulder. "We just might." Akane held out her hand to Konatsu who slid next to her and handed her back her henshin stick. Akane sensed the area to see if no one else was around. She held her stick high. "Io Lumina Power! Make Up!" In moments her transformation was complete and Sailor Io made a pose.

Ranko held her stick in the air. It was the most wonderful feeling. She never wanted to lose this feeling ever again, "Sun Star Power! Make Up!" She happily made a pose. She posed again.

Ukyou had a tear in her eye. "Ok you two, go and fight for love and justice."

"We will." Sailors Io and Sun ran off to join the other Senshi.


The Senshi were all gathered at the Outer's home. Everyone was cheering the return of Sailor Sun. Sailors Io and Sun were the last to arrive.

Sailor Pluto was at home as well. Moon went up to Pluto, "Why didn't you come to the battle?"

Pluto explained, "And get Nannichuan on me? No way. If that stuff touched me, I would lose my ability to defend the gates of time. I could never allow that to happen." Sailor Moon thought that was a flimsy excuse.

Sailor Moon called the meeting to order. "Everyone. First, I want to welcome back Sailor Sun to the team." She paused and smiled. "She never left us. She was out sick." Sailor Sun took a tiny bow.

The girls in small groups hugged Sun and kissed her on the cheek. Sailor Io kissed her on the lips. She was her wife so she could do that whenever she felt like. Io whispered in Sun's ear, "I'm so happy for you Ranma."

Sun whispered back, "I'm happy for me too."

Moon pulled Sailor Mars to her. "Where is the box?"

Mars pulled it out of subspace. "Here are the troublemakers." The box had a band of steel with intricate markings to seal the contents.

A goofy muffled voice came from inside, "I was only kidding!"

Happosai spoke from the box as well, "C'mon ladies. I didn't mean it."

Sailor Moon looked at Sailor Pluto, "Got any ideas Pluto?"

"But of course your majesty." Pluto took the box. "All I need is your permission."

"As long as we never see it again."

Pluto smiled. "Thank you your majesty." She slipped into the time stream and an instant later appeared again. "It is done."

Sailor Venus sat down on the floor. "Good riddance."

Sailor Sun changed back into Ranko. "Girls. I don't know about you. But I'm in the mood for some ice cream."

Pluto transformed back. Setsuna threw her arms in the air. "What the heck! I'm buying!"

"HOORAY!" Came from the group.

An hour later, several gallons of ice cream met a horrible fate.


On a newly discovered planetoid in the Sol star system, buried sixty meters below the soil, a small metal box lay. The tiny almost planet named Quaoar would not be visited by humans for a thousand years. Sailor Pluto would find a new hiding spot by then. A goofy voice from the box spoke, "I guess I'll just have to brush up on playing solitaire again. I'm so bored."

Happosai was back in agony. "No pretty ladies? WAHH!!!""

The demon ate Happosai's agony. "Mmm... pain..."


Weeks later...

The demon sang. "I love you. You love me!"

Happosai wanted to quiet his eternal roommate. "SHUT UP!"

"Wanna play checkers?


"Wanna play chess"


"I've got a great book on how to play solitaire."


"Let's watch my favorite show. I have a complete collection of the my TV show on DVD."


"But I love you!"

This conversion lasted far longer than any human being could stand. In other words, it lasted longer than a minute. The conversation lasted MUCH longer.


MUCH longer...

Happosai was punished.

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and prevents me from going into the neko-ken and chasing you around the block.

Last edited on December 5th, 2002

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