Becky's Burger Emporium Fiction, Programming and Mayhem

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Sailor Ranko: Tunnel Vision: Chapter 23, The Other White Meat.
Rebecca Ann Heineman

Ranma 1/2 and the characters therein are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. Based on "Sailor Ranko" by Duncan Zillman and "Twice in a Millennium" by Kevin D. Hammel.

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or make me upload chapters to without checking them.

Sailor Sun gazed at the unconscious body of Ryoga laying on the ash covered ground. She wondered why Ryoga fainted when she transformed in front of him. Then it dawned on her, "Hmm... I forgot that I am naked for a moment during my transformation." Sun made a mental note to never transform in front of Ryoga ever again. The guy couldn't take the image of Ranko being briefly nude in his feeble little mind.

Sun gazed at the desolate landscape. She felt a tear coming on. The sky was very dark and the sounds of sirens from emergency vehicles were blaring in the distance. The view didn't seem real. It was a vision from the history books she read about Hiroshima. She never dreamed that she would actually be seeing this type of destruction in her lifetime.

Sun gave a deep sigh and sucked in her lip. She turned to look at Ryoga. He didn't look like he was going to die but he was not a vision of health. She examined his skin and saw dark blotches on his back and a small one in the palm of his right hand. Sun gently bent over and picked up Ryoga. He was lighter than she remembered him being. "Sun Beam Transport!"


The hospital was operating at peak efficiency. Sailor Saturn had stabilized all the critical patients and was now concentrating on facial reconstruction healing. She took a keen interest in healing the children that came to her. Saturn held a little girl's face and closed her eyes. She concentrated her healing power and the girl smiled for the first time since the fire burned her face. Her face completely restored and she cried in joy. Saturn returned the look with tears of happiness. Saturn felt the chest of the little girl and made the remaining burns disappear. Saturn took a deep breath and Neptune came to her side. Uranus took the little girl and gave her back to her sister. The sister bowed and Uranus escorted her out of the room. Saturn needed to rest again.

A flash of light appeared in the hallway outside of the examination room. Sailor Sun stood there holding Ryoga in her arms. Sailor Venus gave a look of shock at Sun. Sun was supposed to be at the space station resting. Venus went over to Sun, "Who's this?"

Sun looked around for a table to put Ryoga on. "He's a friend of mine. His name is Ryoga Hibiki. He's sick. He said it was radiation sickness."

"Radiation sickness? We have to take him to decontamination." Venus led Sun down the hall to the back window. She pointed to a tent outside the back of the hospital. "Teleport there. They need to clean him up before we can do anything with him.

Sun nodded, "Ok. Sun Beam Transport!" She disappeared and a flash appeared in the decontamination tent.

Sailor Jupiter and two aides jumped at the sound behind them. Jupiter scowled at Sun, "Call me on the communicator and warn me next time! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"I've got a patient. Where do I put him?"

Jupiter glanced around. A cot was just made empty as they took the patient inside the hospital for treatment. "Over there."

Sun nodded and went over to the cot and placed him gently down on it. She started to remove his backpack and other supplies and placed them under the cot. Her communicator beeped. It had a message. "Sun, where are you?" The message was from Sailor Io.

Sun remembered that Io was still on the space station. She started to dial Io's number of the keypad and stopped. Io was out of range for voice communication. Only Sailor Mercury's computer could transmit from Earth to the station faster than light speed. Sailor Jupiter came to the pair, "Sun, could you help out here for a bit? We are swamped."

"Sure. Is Io around?"

Jupiter smirked. "No, she was supposed to keep you from wandering off. She's back on the station."

"She didn't do a very good job at keeping me there did she?" Sun laughed.

"I guess not. Hey, why don't you go get her?"

"Ok!" Sun flashed out.

Jupiter rolled her eyes. She counted to fifteen slowly. A flash appeared. "Put me down you jerk!" Came from a very upset Sailor Io.

Sun let her go and she plopped down on her butt. Sun curtsied, "As you wish."

Jupiter slowly shook her head, "You are so predictable Sun."

Sun stood up. "Hey!"

Io looked up at her husband, "Where did you go sneaking off to!"

Sun pointed at the cot next to Io. Io followed the finger to a sleeping Ryoga. Io got up and kneeled next to him. She touched his forehead. It was hot. "What's the matter with him?"

Sun tried to remember, "Radiation sickness I think."

Jupiter got down to business, "I need you two to help me decontaminate these people." She pulled them away and took them to the wash down area. Since the Senshi were immune to radiation, most of them were working the decontamination tent. Sailor Mars was burning clothes with her fire magic and Mercury was examining new patients. Jupiter put Sun and Io to work with her bathing people to get all the radioactive dust off of them and put on simple cotton pants and shirts.

The three of them got several people cleaned up. Sun, being the show off, started using her Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken technique to quickly clean dirt off people. Io decided that she wasn't going to let Sun win the award for most people decontaminated in an hour also used her technique as well. Jupiter was happy that those two psycho Senshi were putting their competitive impulses to good use.

Io finished up the current patient and an orderly wheeled him away. Io soaked her towel in preparation for the next patient. Another orderly wheeled in Ryoga. Io paused for a moment, "Oh Ryoga." She carefully removed his clothes and found the picture of Akari he had in his shirt pocket. She looked around and saw Akari wasn't nearby.

Io felt a hand on her shoulder. Sailor Sun had a grim look on her face. "She's dead." Io felt dread and sorrow for Ryoga. She had hoped that someone she knew didn't suffer from this disaster. She put the picture down on the cleansing table. She would see if there was a way to save the picture for Ryoga. Usually all personal effects were destroyed due to exposure to radioactivity. She had to find a way to save it.

Sun gently pushed Io away. "Io, let me clean him up."

Io pushed her back, "No, I want to do it." She finished removing his shirt and started removing his pants. Sun went to the other side and helped. "I don't need your help Sun. Don't you have your own patient?"

"I really want to do this Io. Take my patient."

"No, I'm going to take care of Ryoga."

"No, I am."

"I am."

Sun gently pushed Io away again, "Ryoga is my childhood friend. I am doing this."

Io was suspicious. "All you do is pick on him. Now you want to be his private nurse? He's my patient." Io yanked off the pants and threw them into the clothes pile.

"Well, I don't think he wants you to see him naked." Sun was trying desperately to get rid of Io. She didn't want her to find out about P-Chan.

Io frowned. "It's not like I've never seen a naked guy before! Besides, why all the concern right now." Io reached over to the cold wet towels and grabbed one.

Sun turned pale. She quickly stood in between Io and Ryoga. "Uh, could you use a hot towel? Uh... Radiation poisoning needs uh... hot water... Yeah..."

Io tilted her head. "Since when? Everyone gets a cold bath. Besides it's not like we've got hot water anyways."

"You can make some with this." Sun produced a tiny fireball in her hand. "Here, warm the towel on this." Sun was starting to sweat. It wasn't from the heat of the fireball.

"What's wrong with you!" Io started to approach Ryoga but Sun stood in the way. Io moved to the side and Sun moved alongside of her. Sun moved her hand near the towel in a sad attempt to heat the water.

Io was getting mad. "Ok, what's going on?"

"Oh... Nothing..." Sun spun around and grabbed Ryoga's table and started wheeling it toward her station.

"You come back here you jerk!" Io followed Sun. Sun kept pushing the cart holding Ryoga around the cleaning area. Io doubled back to try to cut her off. Sun started jogging and ran around the area in a circle trying to keep Ryoga away from Io's wet towel.

Ryoga woke up and groaned. "Where am I?"

Sun knew this was going to end badly since her luck historically dictated no other outcome. She still had to try. She pushed the cart past a pile of dry towels and grabbed one. She started to rub Ryoga's arm to clean it. Ryoga cried out in pain, "Ouch! Stop that Ranma!"

Sun was furious that he called her by her real name. She stopped the cart and hit him on the neck stunning him. She looked around and saw that no one heard Ryoga's comment. She breathed a sigh of relief. She was pushed to the ground.

Io stood above Sun. "Honestly. What's gotten into you?" Io dropped the towel on Ryoga's chest. "Have you lost your..." Io looked at Ryoga and saw he was gone. P-Chan was lying in the center of the table on his back. The little pig rolled over onto its side still asleep.

Sun buried her head in her hands. She knew she was dead now. The method of execution was still being decided but the outcome was certain.

Io stood there looking at P-Chan. She blinked. "P-Chan! What are... Uh... What... Uh..." She wanted to pick up the pig and hold it against her bosom like she always did. She wanted to throw it into a meat grinder. She wanted to take P-Chan to bed with her tonight. She wanted to drop kick it to Hawaii. She wanted to give it some of her parfait. She wanted to boil it in oil.

** Flashback **

Akane saw a black pig bouncing around in her bedroom. The pig took a flying leap at her and she swatted it into the corner. "A little pig? I wonder how he got in here?" Akane bent down and gently called the pig to her. It growled at first, and then slowly allowed her to pick it up. The pig was all wet from the rain. She felt sorry for it and dried it off. She went downstairs to show off her new pet to Ranma.

Ranko was sitting next to the neighbor's dog. Ranko seemed to have been talking to it for some strange reason. "Hey! Where did you get the weird looking pig?"

Akane saw that the pig reacted violently to Ranko. She had to softly talk to the pig and squeeze it against her bosom to quiet it down.

Ranko peeked at the pig, "I think it's blushing." She took the pig from Akane and looked at it. "Hah! It's a he!" The pig then attacked Ranko as if it was embarrassed at being examined in that part of its body.

Akane took the pig back. "Hey isn't that the Yamata's dog?"

Ranko gave a look of surprise and left the room. She came back shortly thereafter with a kettle of hot water. "Look away for second will you?" Ranko turned Akane's head away and poured hot water on the dog. The dog just sat there.

Ranko said she was going to take a bath. Akane saw that the pig was filthy and gave it to Ranko to bathe it.

Shortly thereafter, the pig ran squealing out of the bathroom with a very angry Ranko chasing it. She was talking to it like it was a person. A person?

** End flashback **

Io wondered. Why did Ranko pour hot water on the dog? Why did she talk to the pig as if it was a person?

** Flashback **

"I can't believe Ranma is jealous of a pig!" Akane spoke to her pig. She tucked her pig in her bed and went to sleep.

Ranma came into the window. Akane awoke when Ranma was lying on top of her. As she gave him the beating he deserved, he was shouting, "It's not what it looks like! It's Ryoga!"

Akane was furious. "Where! Where is Ryoga! I don't see him! Only you!" Akane smashed her bokken on Ranma's chest hurling him out the window. She regained her composure, drew the drapes and went back to bed. She could have sworn the pig stuck its tongue out at the open window. It was taunting Ranma.

** End flashback **

Io thought about it. Why was Ranma saying that Ryoga was in the room when only the pig was there?

** Flashback **

"P-Chan! P-Chan!" Akane was searching the dojo for her little pet pig. She thought, "What's with P-Chan? He seems to get lost easily."

** End Flashback **

Io looked down at the sleeping pig. "He has the same sense of direction as Ryoga."

** Flashback **

Akane and Ryoga were on a rowboat in the lake at the park. Ryoga was trying to speak to Akane but the words never came out. Ranma and Ukyou were in another rowboat. Ranma taunted Ryoga, "P-Chan! The little piggy goes Oink! Oink!"

Ryoga got upset. "Stop saying that Ranma!"

** End Flashback **

Io started getting angry. "Ranma called Ryoga P-Chan." She turned red. "He called him pork butt." She reached for a bedpan from the table. "He called him bacon breath." She put water in the bedpan. "How could I have been so BLIND?"

Io flashed her gaze at Sun. Sun was still on the ground covering her head. Io grabbed Sun's hand and held it under the bedpan. She commanded. "Sun, make a fireball."

Sun sheepishly produced a fireball in her palm. Io held her hand under the bedpan. In a moment, steam started to rise and she let go of Sun's hand. Sun begged, "Please don't do that."

Io ignored her. She poured the water on P-Chan. Ryoga's naked body appeared where P-Chan once lay. Io dropped the bedpan on the floor and stood there. Her mind was reeling. Thoughts flooded in, "He slept in my bed. He saw me change. He was in the girl's locker room. He snuggled on my chest. He never told me."

A mallet appeared in Io's hand. She calmly brought it up above her head. She held it there for a second. Shivered and brought it down on Sun's head. "YOU KNEW!"

Sun was flattened. Io breathed hard as she recovered from the exertion she put into the mallet strike. She had to. As a Senshi, Sun could withstand most mallet strikes. She needed to strike her with all her might to cause Sun pain. Io wanted Sun to feel pain.

Ryoga awoke at the sound of the strike. He bolted upright and looked around. He saw that he was lying on a table next to a beautiful Sailor Senshi and he was naked. Naked? He blushed and covered up his private area. He made a smile of embarrassment. He saw a towel on the table and grabbed it. The towel was damp with cold water. He became P-Chan again.

Io focused her attention on P-Chan. "You little PERVERT!" She raised her mallet to make a pork pancake. P-Chan squealed in shock and jumped out of the way before the mallet destroyed the cart. "Come back here!"

P-Chan didn't know what to do. He had no idea why this Senshi wanted him dead. Wait! She saw him transform! She must think that he was a youma. He had to find hot water to change back to explain it to her. He jumped out of the way and out of the tented area. Sailor Io was in hot pursuit.

P-Chan ran under tables and over cots. He couldn't ditch the crazed Senshi from the pursuit. She must possess martial arts skills since she was able to ki jump like he did. P-Chan saw an open window on the second floor of the hospital and jumped in.

The room was a children's ward. The kids looked at him. "Ahh!! A cute little piggy!" A five-year-old boy grabbed P-Chan and held him tight.

Sailor Io jumped in the window and saw who had the pig. "Little boy, I need that pig. Uh... It's my pet."

The little boy was not convinced. She was holding the mallet in a threatening manner. "It's my piggy!" P-Chan popped out of the boy's grasp and ran for the door.

Sailor Io called out, "Here piggy piggy! I've got something for you!" She ran to the door. The door opened as a nurse came in to see what was the matter. P-Chan bolted into the hallway and ran as fast as he could to the stairway. Sailor Io was in hot pursuit. P-Chan saw the sign that said Exit and tried to turn left. He couldn't change direction on the slippery linoleum floor and spun out of control under a wheeled cart of medical supplies. Io applied the brakes and slid to a stop next to the cart. She kicked the cart to the side and smashed the ground where the cart was.

Io smiled. She lifted her mallet to admire her handiwork and saw no P-Chan parts. She quickly looked right and left for where the little critter disappeared. She saw the cart was moving by itself towards the exit and it made a right turn into the corridor to the stairs. "Ah ha!" She ran after the cart.

P-Chan heard Io charge and ran out from under the cart and toward the stairway. He jumped down and quickly went back to the first floor. He controlled his speed to prevent losing control and bounced off the walls to avoid the people milling about. He ran for the front door.

He was about to escape to freedom when Sailor Io landed from jumping out of the second story window. She cast her mallet aside and prepared a ki attack. "Thunder Hammer Strike!"

The security guards jumped out of the way and the blast hit where P-Chan once stood. P-Chan reacted quick enough to dodge the blast and landed on a nurse's head. She screamed and P-Chan jumped off and ran the other way to escape through the back entrance.

Io had a grimace on her face. She was not done yet. "That's it! You're sausage!" She ran after the little porker.

Several people tried to grab P-Chan. They thought they would get a free meal if they helped the Senshi catch this escaping entree. P-Chan bit one hand and bounced off the walls to avoid the rest. He made it to the exit and ran out into the open air.

He turned and ran under the bushes outside of the hospital. Io leapt over the startled people and landed next to the bushes. "Die Ryoga! Lava Blast!" She incinerated half of the bushes with her ball of lava. P-Chan was in the other half. He didn't want to stick around. He saw in a tent off in the distance a white smoke plume. He hoped that it was steam. He went in that direction as fast as his little piggy legs could carry him.

Io saw the blur and was about to cast Lava blast again. There were too many people around so she canned the idea. "Oh no you don't!" She ki jumped and landed in front of P-Chan. P-Chan ran between her legs and then changed direction to run under some parked cars.

Io spun around and wanted so badly to incinerate the cars to put P-Chan out of her misery. She ran out to the street so she could get a good look under the cars. She got on all fours and looked under the vehicles. She didn't see him. She used her Senshi senses and felt his presence. She got up and went to the fourth car and pointed her hands at the rear wheel well. "Come out P-Chan!"

P-Chan was hiding behind the tire. He was shivering from fright. This Senshi was going to roast him for being a youma. He wanted to show her that he was human. "Thunder Hammer..."

Io's arms were pushed up by Sailor Sun. Sun shouted, "Knock it off!"

"You keep out of it!" Io shouted back. P-Chan bolted to the tent with the white cloud. Io shoved Sun into the street. She ran after P-Chan again. Sun rolled in the street and had to ki jump into the air to prevent her from getting run over by a troop transport that was driving by at that moment.

Io muttered. "Where is that little runt?" A moment later she heard people shouting in the refugee camp. She followed the commotion.

People in the camp were all chasing after the pig. "Don't let him get away!" "Here piggy piggy!" "Where's dinner?" "Anyone got a wok?" "Mmm... Bacon!" The camp was in turmoil. Everyone was chasing the little pig trying to get some fresh meat for a change. P-Chan ran to the machine that was making the smoke. It was power generator that was burning oil making a white foul smelling cloud.

P-Chan whimpered. He heard his adversary behind him. "I've got you now!" She produced another mallet and smashed the ground where he stood again. P-Chan bounced off the tent pole and through a hole in the canvas. He was on top of the tent and he ran to the highest point. He paused to take a look around. He saw a building marked Red Cross with white smoke and a line of people going into the building. There were people milling about eating food. There had to be hot water there. He slid down the canvas just as Sailor Io landed on the tip of the pole. Io started waving her hands in the air as she lost her balance and slid face first in the opposite direction.

P-Chan leapt off the tent as he ran out of canvas and ran under tables to try to keep that insane Senshi away from him. He darted between people's legs and ran inside the food center and slid on the slippery floor. He crashed into the base of a table. The people seated there looked down to see what was the source of the noise.

"Oh, what a cute little pig." A woman in her twenties picked up P-Chan and held him. "You must be lost." Her husband looked at the pig and thought of what was the best way to prepare it for tonight's dinner.

The door was slammed open and the silhouette of a very angry woman in a mini-skirt could be seen. She lifted her mallet over her head and charged the table where P-Chan was. "Give me that pig!"

The woman tossed the pig to the Senshi and Io aimed her mallet to strike it in mid-air. Sailor Sun grabbed P-Chan and jumped out of the way so Io swung in empty air. Sailor Sun flashed out.

Sailor Io landed with a thud on the ground. She took a moment to get back up. "ARGH!" She stood there for a minute calming down. She released her anger and used her Senshi sense to see where Sun was. The mallet disappeared and she walked out of the food center.

The woman who had the pig told her husband. "I guess even the Senshi are fighting over the fresh meat."

The husband replied, "I didn't know the Senshi were so violent."


Sailor Sun was sitting on the roof of the hospital holding P-Chan by the neck. "You owe me pork butt."

P-Chan struggled. "Squee! Squee!"

"Same to you buddy."

A few minutes later, Sailor Io landed on the roof. She had in her hands Ryoga's pants and a bedpan with water. Sun stood up. Io threw the pants to the ground and held out the bedpan.

Sun created a fireball and heated the water. P-Chan didn't know what to make of it but he was happy that they were going to change him back to human form. Io poured the water on P-Chan. Ryoga quickly pulled his pants on.

Ryoga turned to Sailor Sun and looked at Io. "I'm not a youma! I have a Jusenkyo curse!"

Io held her arms akimbo. "You do eh?"

"Yes! I fell into the spring of drowned black piglet!"

Io shot a glare to Sailor Sun. "How long have you had this curse?"

"About two years," he pointed at Sailor Sun, "she's the one who did this to me!"

Sun took a step back, "Hey! Don't go blaming this on me!"

Io got wide eyed. "He knows who you are?"

"It was a mistake ok!"

Ryoga got angry. "Mistake! If you weren't chasing that panda, this wouldn't have happened!"

"If you hadn't followed me to China you wouldn't have been at Jusenkyo!"

"I wouldn't have followed you had you not chickened out of our duel!"

"Chickened out! I waited for you for three days!"

"I got there on the fourth day!"

"It took you four days to go next door?"

"I usually take a week!"

Sailor Io decided the proper course of action. "Thunder Hammer Strike!"

Sailor Sun and Ryoga paused their argument long enough to see the ki blast blow them off the building and onto the parking lot below.


Ryoga awoke on a table. A nurse was cleaning him. He fainted of embarrassment.


Sailor Io was weeping. "I didn't know."

Sun was hugging her. "He lost his wife. He needs a friend right now more than anything.

"Poor Ryoga." Io felt sorry for him. He may have never confessed about being P-Chan, but after Sun explained his long life story. She understood. Io was angry with herself for not seeing the truth for all those years. She couldn't believe that she had been so blind. Ryoga needed a friend right now. She was going to be his friend.


Ryoga woke up again. A young Senshi with long black hair and a dark purple skirt came up to him. Another Senshi with green hair was next to her. The black haired one placed her hands on him. He felt warm. He looked up and saw Sailor Sun. She struck his neck.


Ryoga woke up in a private hospital room. A Sailor Scout with blue-black hair in a yellow skirt came in and shut the door. She had dirty gloves and her dress was soiled. She transformed into Akane. He shook his head. He didn't really see that did he?

Akane came next to him with a hot towel. She wiped his face. "How are you feeling P-Chan?"

Ryoga was in shock. He was barely awake. He thought. "P-P-P-Chan?"

Sailor Sun came in, saw Akane and quickly shut the door. "I've got the campsite ready."

Akane smiled to Sun. "I'll be finished in a minute."

Sun looked at Ryoga. "Was he awake when you changed?"

Akane shrugged. "I don't think so." She touched his head. "He seems to still be unconscious."

Sun hit his neck again to stun him. "Well, he's unconscious now."

"You didn't have to do that."

"Why not?"

"I wanted to do it."

Sun gave out a little laugh. "Transform so we can get this idiot out of here."

Akane transformed and her fuku she was wearing was completely clean and her body had an instant bath. "There, much better."

Sun grabbed Io and flashed out. Fifteen seconds later, she reappeared, grabbed Ryoga and flashed out again.

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and keeps me from making that bump in the night sound you hear at midnight.

Last edited on November 30, 2002

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