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Sailor Ranko: Just Add Water: Chapter 2, Fine Dining.
Rebecca Ann Heineman

Ranma 1/2 and the characters therein are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. Based on "Sailor Ranko" by Duncan Zillman and "Twice in a Millennium" by Kevin D. Hammel.

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or feed me Akane's cooking.

It was just before five o'clock in the evening and Ranko was putting the finishing touches on her makeup. She still wasn't that comfortable with lipstick but Akane gave her simple pointers on its proper application and use. Ranko adjusted her kimono and made her checklist, purse, makeup, subway tokens and a plastic bottle of cold water.

She was ready to get to the upscale sushi bar she's been working at for the last few days. Ranko smiled in the bathroom mirror. She was happy that Ukyou gave her such a glowing recommendation. It made the difference in getting the waitress job. The Edokko Sushi restaurant was very high class and the pay was good. If she could keep this job for a few months, she could save enough money to pay for the apartment for an entire year. She could then ditch the kimono and spend the time training instead of serving customers.

She batted her eyes in a girlish fashion and then stuck her tongue at her reflection. "Well, here goes." She went to the kitchen to say goodbye to Akane, "See you later tonight dear."

Ranko saw that Akane was seasoning something in the stir-fry wok. Ranko didn't know what was cooking and she didn't want to know. Akane saw Ranma and happily exclaimed, "Ranma, want something to take with you?" Akane tried to speed up cooking the life form otherwise known as dinner to give some to Ranko.

Ranko quickly exited, "I'll grab something at work." She ran at high speed down the hall, down the stairs, out the front door of the apartment building and didn't slow down until she reached the subway station.

There, she sped up. Akane almost caught up with her.


Nabiki exited the subway station near the Tokyo bay waterfront. This was going to be a profitable evening. She had a meeting with Kuno to exchange yen for information. She didn't want to perform the transaction at school. This information was extra juicy and worthy of a meeting at a very expensive restaurant. Kuno of course will be buying. Nabiki grinned. She knew exactly how to manage her pet.

She wore a smart business suit and skirt, heels and looked the part of a lawyer about to show the damning evidence to clinch the case. Only a set of fangs would have made the image of Nabiki fit what she had in mind for the evening. She was going to suck Kuno dry.

She walked the three blocks to the restaurant and found Kuno was nowhere in sight. She checked her watch, and saw she was fifteen minutes early. She checked if there was a reservation for two under the name Kuno. She told the hostess that the table was for her and her companion will be along shortly. She sat down waiting for her victim, uh... her date.


Kuno was in a rickshaw being pulled by Sasuke. Sasuke was getting tired since Tokyo Bay was a long way from Nerima. Kuno of course was no help by insulting Sasuke at every stop. Kuno smugly commanded, "I cannot be late for I have promised the fair Nabiki Tendo that I will grace her presence this evening. Hurry!"

Sasuke grumbled to himself, "For a man with as much money as he, you'd think he could hire a cab." He upped the pace and saw the destination rapidly approach. He turned onto the sidewalk and startled pedestrians as he ran at top speed and stopped in front of the restaurant. Sasuke huffed and puffed and paused a moment to catch his breath. He parked the rickshaw and went over to the side to help Kuno out.

Kuno slightly turned his head to Sasuke, "I wish to disembark."

Sasuke grimaced. There had to be better ways of making a living. He got down on all fours and crouched below the footrest of the rickshaw as a human stepping stool. Kuno stepped out, onto Sasuke and on the sidewalk. "That will be all for now. I shall return in about an hour. I will expect you to be here." Kuno stood tall and entered the restaurant.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned to find the rickshaw was moving down the street. Someone had just taken it. Sasuke gave chase. It was not his day.


"Oh, Kuno baby." Nabiki was pleased. Kuno came in and stood in front of her.

Kuno asked, "Have you brought what you have promised me?"

Nabiki gave an all-knowing smile, the kind of smile that sharks show before they eat their young. "Oh, but of course."

"Then, let's have a seat." Kuno went to the hostess to announce his imperial presence and was promptly seated.

Nabiki wasted no time looking at the menu for the most expensive foods they serve. She was going to make Kuno pay through the nose tonight.

Kuno got down to business, "So, you have found the pig-tailed girl?"

Nabiki was beside herself. Kuno had not seen Akane and the pig-tailed girl for months and it drove him crazy. He was almost about to give up when he had seen them at Ryoga's wedding and it rekindled his madness. Nabiki knew that his lust had driven his desire to pay top yen for the location of the objects of his desire. She was not going to pass up this chance. "Why yes, it took a while and I had to call in some favors." Nabiki pulled out an envelope from her purse and pulled out a single photo of Ranko. It was one of her and her mother sitting at the Tendo residence.

Nabiki held the photo with a firm grip and allowed Kuno to see it. "This was taken a few days ago. Now, this photo is only one thousand yen." She held several other photos face down. "These however, are five thousand yen apiece."

Kuno started to sweat. He knew the photos that Nabiki could provide and these photos had a very high asking price. He almost had a nose bleed just thinking about what was on those photos. "And of the location? What are you asking for that?"

Nabiki slid the photos back into the envelope. "Oh Kuno baby. Don't you want these photos?" She turned one so he could see half of the photo. She held her hand over the lower half to cover up what appeared to be a nude photo of Ranko. Nabiki knew she had him hook line and sinker. She just had to keep it going slow and steady to reel him in.

The waitress came by and Nabiki looked up to see a startled Ranko in a beautiful kimono and full makeup. Nabiki bugged her eyes out and shot a glance at Kuno. Kuno was busy staring at the photo of Ranko to notice that she was standing next to him.

Nabiki stuttered, "Uh... I'll have a diet coke."

Kuno without looking up, "I'll have tea. Uh... And the pig-tailed sushi boat..." He was slowly losing himself in a fantasy with himself being showered with love and adoration from his loves, the pig-tailed girl and the fair Akane Tendo.

Nabiki not missing her cue, "I'll have the deluxe sushi combination and the sweet shrimp." She gulped as Ranko took a step backwards, filled out the order and walked briskly back to the kitchen. "Kuno, I've got to powder my nose." She pulled out a picture of Ranko in lingerie and handed it to Kuno.

Kuno drooled slightly, "My love! Come to me so I can hear you profess your undying love." He started to recite bad poetry. Thankfully, Nabiki was out of earshot and didn't hear it.

Nabiki got to the doorway of the kitchen. Ranko was standing there looking frustrated. Nabiki looked at Ranko's attire, "What the hell are YOU doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing!" Ranko glanced back to the booth that Kuno was sitting in. "What are you selling him now?"

"Hey, a girl's got to make a living." Nabiki made it plain she was referring to the both of them.

Ranko clenched her fists. "If you get me fired, I'll make sure you regret it!" Ranko turned to another waitress, "Mariko, could you take care of table 4 for me." She turned to Nabiki and shook her head in disgust.

Mariko grabbed a large tray with food on it, "I can't, I've got table 8 and they are ordering like crazy. I can't image how they could eat so much."

Nabiki smirked, "Yeah, imagine that."

Ranko got the joke and held her fist in front of her, "If you weren't my sister-in-law, I'd..."

Nabiki called her bluff, "Yeah right, like you'd hit a girl." Nabiki turned and went back to Kuno.

Ranko debated on pummeling Nabiki. She decided it wasn't worth it; she fought too hard for this job. She picked up a tray of sushi for table 3. Table 4's meal would be ready in a few minutes. Sigh.


Nabiki pocketed the yen from the third photo sale. She was impressed that she was able to fetch thirty thousand yen for a ten-photo spread of Akane in swimwear. Now it was time for the main event. She glanced over to Ranko and felt just a hint of guilt. She was going to sell out her sister and her husband. If she could squeeze out the price she wanted, it would be worth it. She froze up her soul and went into full ice queen mode. "So Kuno baby, are you ready to know where you can find your pig-tailed goddess?"

Kuno gave a expression of pure delight. He was going to save his beloved. "Where has she been taken?"

Nabiki pulled out a folded sheet of paper. She unfolded it enough to show that it was a map and quickly folded it back up again. "One hundred thousand yen and it's yours."

Kuno gagged on his water. "One hundred thousand yen! You're mad!" Kuno spit out a bit of water and used his napkin to clean himself. "Waitress! I need another napkin."

Ranko saw that Mariko was busy. She gritted her teeth and got the warm moist towels and a few small paper napkins and went to table 4. Nabiki reached over to Kuno and helped him clean himself up. Ranko quickly put down the drinks and the napkins and slid away.

Ranko breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad that Nabiki was trying to keep Kuno from seeing her.

Kuno took a sip of tea. "Waitress, I need lemon." He turned to see where the waitress was but she darted out of sight. "Hmm, the service is sub-par. I'll have remember that when I leave the tip."

Nabiki glanced at Ranko and back to Kuno. "Now where were we? Oh yes, do you want the address? Oh, and to sweeten the deal, my dear sister Akane lives there too. Two for one, can't pass it up."

Kuno gave it serious consideration. Nabiki was asking for a king's ransom for a simple piece of paper. Without the paper, there was the real chance that he would not allow the girls who adored him to gaze upon his manly physique. He could not deny those two lovely vixens a chance to bask in the glory of Tatewaki Kuno. He knew deep down that that foul sorcerer Ranma Saotome was holding these girls captive. He knew that Akane had been tricked into believing that she was Ranma's wife. He had to rescue them.

"Would you take a check?"

"Oh, you know what I want." Nabiki purred like a kitten and gently touched Kuno's hand. "Show me the check, I'll show you some more." She held the folded map in her hand like a poker player holds the cards. She showed nothing, but implied everything.

Kuno gulped. The waitress came by and placed Kuno's meal in front of him. "Ah, finally, we can eat." Nabiki's meal was placed in front of her and Ranko pulled back. Kuno quickly shot a glance at Ranko and then focused on his meal. He got the soy sauce and poured it into the little dipping bowl and froze. He poured until it overflowed and started to stain the tablecloth. He dropped the soy sauce bottle.

Kuno leapt out of his seat and stood in the corridor between the booths. Ranko's danger sense went off the scale. "Pig-tailed girl! It is I! Tatewaki Kuno, the shining star of the Furinkan High School Kendo Club! Your one true love! I see you have come to impersonate a waitress so that you can shower me with your love and to serve me! I am but honored."

Mariko saw Ranko's reaction of pure disgust, "Is he your former boyfriend?"

Ranko replied, "He only exists in my nightmares." Ranko gasped as the patent pending Kuno hug of death was applied to her midsection.

Nabiki started to eat her meal. She took a lesson from the Saotomes and ate rapidly. She had no clue how long the building was going to remain standing.

Ranko was prepared. She screamed, "HELP!!!!"

"Yes my dear pig-tailed girl! I am here to help you escape from this place. Come with me and we shall wed!" Kuno applied even more force to ensure that the love of his life would not be able to be ensnared by the dark sorcerer.

Ranko screamed again, "HELP ME! Get this maniac off of me!"

Kuno looked around, "I do not see Ranma anywhere. I am prepared to fight him off!"

A voice came from the entryway. A girl in a yellow mini-skirt with a blue bow made a pose. "I am Sailor Io. Restaurants are for people to enjoy a good meal and to spend quality time together. The pig-tailed girl does not want to be in your presence. In the name of Io, I will punish you!"

Kuno was in awe. This sailor-suited warrior of love and justice reminded him of Akane Tendo. He had hearts in his eyes. "I am here to protect the pig-tailed girl. If you defeat me, I will date with you."

Sailor Io dropped her jaw. "I have no intention on dating you. Let the girl go!"

"I cannot, she must have the spell cast on her broken so that she can profess her love for me."

Ranko had had enough. She elbowed Kuno and expanded her arms to break his hug. She spun around with a kick sliding him over to Sailor Io. Ranko wiped her hands together and gave a tiny bow towards Kuno.

Sailor Io grabbed Kuno by the scruff of the collar and dragged him to the main lobby. Kuno regained his senses, which wasn't difficult since he never possessed much sense to begin with and groped Io. "I see you care for me as well. I will date with you."

Io clasped both hands together and smacked Kuno on the head. He released his grip and fell to the ground. "Pervert!"

Ranko walked over to Kuno. "Sir, please don't forget to pay the check." She left him the bill.

Kuno leapt up and grabbed Ranko. "You do care for me! You came to see if I was injured!"

Ranko kept her composure, "Will that be cash or credit?"


"Your meal."

"Oh, pardon me." He pulled out his wallet and handed a wad of yen to Ranko. "Keep the change my love!"

Ranko smirked, "Sailor Io, Mr. Tatewaki Kuno is all yours." Ranko turned back to her tables.

Sailor Io smiled. It was a dark smile, a smile that someone had when they were about to give a severe beating. A beating that they were going to enjoy. "Oh Kuno."

Kuno spun around. "You profess your love?"

Sailor Io stood outside. She gestured him to follow. Kuno complied.


Nabiki finished her meal. She was disappointed that she wasn't able to sell the final piece of merchandise to Kuno, but then she did get a great meal out of him. Ranko stopped by her booth. She set a tempura ice cream in front of her. "That's for at least trying to keep him away from me."

Nabiki smiled, "How long you've been working here?"

"Just a few days. Good job, but please try to keep him away from here." Ranko gave a hint of a smile. "Please."

Nabiki nodded. She finished her ice cream and went outside. She found the crater with Kuno still in it halfway down the block. Sasuke was dragging Kuno up the rim of the crater to a slightly battered rickshaw. Kuno saw Nabiki. "I have your check."

Nabiki pondered it for a moment. She pondered it some more. She produced the map. Everyone had his or her price. Hers was one hundred thousand yen.


Ranko got off work and went to an alley behind the sushi bar. She transformed into Sailor Sun. "Sun Beam Transport!"

Sailor Sun beamed into the Saotome apartment. She almost collapsed onto the floor. "I forgot about the night fatigue." She slumped into the couch and transformed back into Ranko.

Akane was waiting for her. Ranko sarcastically asked, "Was it fun for you?"

Akane stretched on the couch next to Ranko. "I can't think of a time I enjoyed myself more than that."

Ranko thought about the moment she was able to sneak off and call Akane on the Sailor Scout communicator. "It's a good thing I was able to call you. If I had to beat Kuno into submission, I would have been fired for sure."

Akane cracked her knuckles, "We should do that more often."

"I don't think so. By the way, you know your sister sold our address to Kuno."

Akane sighed. "I guess we'll have to punish them. Won't we."

Ranko grinned.

Nabiki was in her bedroom when she had a sneezing attack.

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and keeps me from making that bump in the night sound you hear at midnight.

Last edited on November 18, 2002

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