Becky's Burger Emporium Fiction, Programming and Mayhem

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Independence Day: Chapter 3, They Orbit.
Rebecca Ann Heineman

Based on the film "Independence Day" By Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich, Ranma 1/2 and the characters therein are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. 801 T.T.S. Airbats characters created by Shimizu Toshimitsu.

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or take me out to the ball game.

July 1st, Afternoon.

Ranma was bored out of his mind listening to Miss Hinako talk about why
pink ponies were prettier than red ones. He gently snored at his desk
dreaming about wild pink horses with fluffy wings when he felt the tap of
a ruler on his cheek.

The small miffed teacher who doubled as a chi-vampire held a fifty yen
coin at Ranma. "I see that you need a lesson in respect for your elders
Mr. Saotome. Happo fifty-yen satsu!" She sucked his ki just enough to
allow her to grow into her adult form but not enough to reduce the pig
tailed boy to a shriveled husk. "Now Mr. Saotome, you will stay awake in
class if you know what's good for you."

Ranma spoke in a soft slow voice. "I was only resting..." He resisted
falling asleep again from the effects of the ki drain to pretend he was
paying attention.

"Well then, if you were resting, please tell me how you spell 'Princess'?
After all, Princess ponies were what I was talking about."

Ranma vaguely remembered his English alphabet. "Uh... P.R.I.N.S.E.S.?"

Hinako pointed her finger toward the open doorway. "Wrong! Go outside
into the hall and don't forget to fill your buckets!"

Several students snickered as the pig-tailed martial artist went out to
the entryway, grabbed two empty buckets and went down the hall to the
restroom to fill them with water. He shook his head to force himself
awake as he slid the first bucket into the sink. He stared at his
reflection in the mirror while the bucket got heavier. "How can this day
get any worse?"

"Ranma Saotome, prepare to die!"

Ranma put the bucket down and faced his rival. "Why do I bother asking?"

An umbrella smashed into the mirror after Ranma ducked under the blow.
Ryoga kicked the empty space that Ranma once occupied and spun around to
find his enemy. "For your disrespect of Akane, you will pay!" He lunged
with all his might and touched the floor. "Bakusai Tenketsu!" The room
was showered in an explosion of linoleum tile fragments.

"What now Ryoga?" Ranma shielded himself with a bathroom stall door. "Why
didn't you settle this before I got to school?"

"Coward! You know it took me until now to track you here!"

"I was in the next room you moron!"

"That's besides the point!" He hit the stall door forming a huge dent
into it. "You ran out on a man to man fight!" He kicked the door down
lunging toward his prey.

Ranma playfully dodged Ryoga's strike. "What man to man fight? You should
at least let me know when we're supposed to do this." He ducked a kick
then a punch.

"You deserve to suffer!" Ryoga kicked again. "Akane was trying to be nice
to you to protect you from your mother and you insulted her."

"Nice to me? She wouldn't give me the shopping bag. Besides P-Chan, how
would you know? Were you spying on me again?" Ranma leapt over another
blow to land behind Ryoga. He planted his foot in the small of Ryoga's
back but it only made the part time pig lose his balance for a second.
Ranma took the opportunity to grab a bucket and run into an empty stall.

"Never mind! You apologize to Akane!" Ryoga spun around to face his hated
rival. He stormed the closed door that prevented him from seeing what
Ranma was up to. He blindly charged the door to smash it down and crush
Ranma with it.

"Ryoga, I was kinda busy this morning, what with my mom visiting and
all." Ranma clung to the ceiling above the toilet as his plan worked like
a charm. The bucket containing toilet water that was sitting on the floor
collided with the enraged Ryoga turning him into his porcine form. Ranma
dropped down before Ryoga could get his bearings which for him was quite
some time. Ranma held his prize in his hand by the bandana. "Quit it will

"Bwee!" P-chan struggled to free himself from Ranma's grip. The pig tried
to bite Ranma and claw his face.

"Fine! If you won't listen to reason then listen to this!" He flung the
little pig out the window into the sky. "Man, won't he ever chill out?"

Ranma picked up his buckets, filled them and surveyed the damage to the
restroom caused by Ryoga's rampage. He shook his head and went to his
assigned post at the doorway to the classroom. Ranma leaned against the
wall outside of his classroom holding his punishment. He looked at both
buckets and began to lift them to exercise his arms. He finished a single
set of repetitions when Miss Hinako called out to him again. "Mr.
Saotome, do not use that time to work out. You are to stay in place for
your punishment until I call you in. Understand?"

"Yes teacher." Ranma dropped his arms grumbling.

"Ranma Saotome! What have you done with the pig tailed girl?"

Ranma stared at the ceiling as he quietly begged the gods to stop
tormenting him. "What now, Kuno?"

Tatewaki Kuno held his bokken out in preparation for a duel. "The pig
tailed one is attending class in your room. Where is she?"

Ranma stared at Kuno in the eyes with distaste. "You're lookin' at her

Kuno raised his battle aura and lifted his bokken to strike a blow.
"Don't mock me. How dare you treat your betters in such manner? Tell me
where she is and I'll go easy on you."

Ranma gently dropped his buckets so that they would land but not spill
their contents. "I don't need to mock you. You do a good enough job on
yourself as it is."

"Saotome! You cur!" Kuno swung his staff at Ranma's midsection. Ranma
arced his back to allow the stick to swing harmlessly by then lifted his
foot to land a kick on Kuno's ribs. He then continued falling backwards
into a backflip. Kuno slid backwards from the blow knocking the buckets
over onto the floor. Ranma landed the moment the water splashed his legs.

Kuno quickly regained his balance and stood again to charge the foul
sorcerer. He saw a vision of loveliness before him and immediately
changed his tactics. "Ah! The pig tailed goddess has come to cheer me on
in battle."

Ranko sighed. "Here we go again." She clenched her fist as the love
struck kendoist ran to embrace the object of his desire. Ranko's punch
sent Kuno out the third floor window onto the grass below. Ranko held her
pose after the impact to release her battle aura and calm down after her

Miss Hinako ran to the hall to check on the commotion. "Mr. Saotome,
you've got detention for fighting."

Ranko stood straight as she heard the punishment. "But Kuno started it."

"You could've called me to take care of that delinquent instead of taking
matters into your own hands." Hinako tapped one of the buckets with her
slipper. "I expect you to refill your buckets and continue standing out
here until you learn to curb your violent side." Hinako turned to her
class. "Students, back to your desks. The show's over." She went back

Ranko grabbed her two empty buckets and marched back to the restroom. She
entered the men's room and refilled the first bucket. "Man, can't I get a
break today." She saw a janitor in the middle of the room scratching his
head wondering why the restroom was in shambles.

The janitor turned to look at the red head. "Miss, you're in the wrong

She filled the second bucket. "Obviously you don't know me do ya?" She
turned off the faucet and turned on the hot water. She shoved her face
into the sink and achieved maleness.

"Miss, this is the men's room. Would you please..." The janitor noticed
Ranma's growth spurt and hair color change. "ARGH! You're a demon!" He
dropped his wrench and jumped out the window.

"Great. That's all I need." He shut off the hot water, used a paper towel
to dry himself off, picked up his buckets and walked to the exit. He
opened the door of the restroom to find Shampoo standing there.

"Nihao Ranma! Airen ready to take Shampoo out on date yes?" Shampoo
glomped Ranma.

"Shampoo! I don't have time for this."

"Ranma say no have time. Now good good time for date. Ranma no in class
now. Date good yes?" She smiled and squeezed Ranma tighter in a bone
crushing embrace.

"Ugh. Can't. Breathe." Ranma turned blue from lack of oxygen.

"Come Ranma, we go on date now." Shampoo dragged an almost comatose Ranma
to the stairway when another voice called out.

"Ranma!" Akane produced a mallet to teach her wayward fiance a lesson.
"Our teacher sent me to check up on you and I find you going on a date
with cat woman?"

Ranma jerked at the mention of the word that involved a feline then
resigned himself to his fate. He spoke without any real effort behind the
words since he knew it didn't really matter. "It's not what it looks
like..." He was smashed into a wall by a giant mallet.

Akane focused her attention on the Amazon. "And as for you..."

Shampoo gave an evil smile as she held out her bonbori. "Akane want fight
for Ranma? Shampoo ready to defend Airen."

"Wait up sugar. You're not fighting over Ranchan unless I'm in on it
too." Ukyou held out her battle spatula.

"Ho ho ho ho ho." Kodachi appeared out of nowhere wearing a lime green
gymnastic leotard. "You can fight all you want girls, but Ranma darling
is mine."

Akane tossed her mallet aside since the fiancee brigade was all present
and accounted for. "See if I care. If he wants to the marry the three of
you, let him!" She stormed off back to her classroom to report on the
impending destruction of the high school.

Shampoo watched Akane walk away. "If Akane no care, why Akane hit Airen?"

Kodachi held her hands to her face in surprise. "She hit him? Again?
Where is my darling? I must nurse him back to health as any good wife

Ukyou blocked Kodachi's way toward Ranma who was imbedded into the wall.
"Look sister, if anyone's nursing him back to health, it's going to be

"Spatula girl wrong. Shampoo wife to Airen. Shampoo duty to heal

Ranma peeled his hand from the wall. He tried to peel the rest of himself
off to make good on an escape. "Why won't they just leave me alone?"

"Ranchan is my responsibility."

"Airen is husband. Shampoo heal."

"Darling! Your beloved is here to assist you."

Ranma began crawling away trying to flee the madness behind him. He
realized he failed when he was spotted trying to get away.

"Ranchan, let me take you to the nurse's office."

"Airen need go to Cat Cafe for Chinese herbs."

"I'll mix up just the right salve to cure your aches and pains darling."

Ranma felt six hands grab him and attempt to pull him in three seperate
directions. "Please put me down."

Ukyou elbowed Shampoo to get her to release Ranma's legs. Shampoo swung a
fist at Ukyou but struck her spatula instead. Kodachi clubbed Shampoo on
the head with her gymnastic pin. Ukyou threw a small spatula to disarm
the gymnast. Shampoo kicked Ukyou's feet out from under her. Kodachi
flung a ribbon at Shampoo to yank out her bonbori. Ukyou threw a spatula
at Shampoo while she was recovering from the loss of her weapon.

Ranma hit the floor as the three girls around him formed a dust cloud
with spatulas, fists, assorted other weapons and human heads occasionally
emerging from the melee and shouts of combat echoed through the hall. "I
know I'm going to blamed for this, but what could make this worse?"

"Happo five-yen sastu!" Hinako with Akane standing beside her sucked the
chi from the three crazed fiancees. Soon, three dried husks remained
where a battle took place. "And you Mr. Saotome, get to go to the
pricipal's office."

Ranma buried his head in his hands in despair. "Why do I keep asking that
stupid question?"

A fax came in that the Major was expecting. He yanked the final sheet and
read the numbers and facts printed on it. He looked at the translucent
photo in his other hand confirming what should be only found in sci-fi
novels. He sprinted to his commander's office barging in due to the
seriousness of the situation. "Colonel, we've got a situation here. It's
a possible first contact with an alien species." He shoved the set of
images into the surprised Colonel's hands.

Colonel Richardson held the photo plates to the ceiling light. He was the
watch officer at the Pentagon Space Command center at this early morning
hour. The images in the pictures couldn't be mistaken for anything but
what was being claimed by the Major. "These can't be right. You've got to
be kidding me."

Major Danowitz shook his head confirming the Colonel's fear. "No sir,
this is straight from N.A.S.A. We're getting confirmation from the
Japanese Space Agency and the Russians. The object is rapidly approaching

Richardson traced the outline of the massive object in space that was
shown by the radar images he was looking at. An image of the moon was
also in the picture to give a sense of scale. "What is this thing?"

"Hell if I know. It's over five hundred fifty kilometers across and
N.A.S.A. estimates it has the mass of one quarter of the moon. S.E.T.I's
people in New Mexico are getting signals from it and from the moon.
And..." Danowitz's face betrayed the fear he had as he fidgeted with a
fax he was holding.

Richardson was not in the mood for any word games. "Out with it."

Danowitz took a deep breath. "It's slowing down. There is no doubt that
this object is artificial."

"What? You can't be serious. Aliens?"

He placed a document with times and speeds in a neat list on the table.
"N.A.S.A. has clocked its speed and it's been losing velocity ever since
it was detected by a Japanese astronomer." He placed a smudged fax next
to the N.A.S.A. document. "A Kansas astronomer also confirmed the

The Colonel leaned back into his chair. "So, what do we do about this?
This isn't exactly something I've ever had to deal with." He tapped his
fingers on his desk and picked up his phone to make a call that would
make or break his career. "Get me General Grey." He paused for a moment
as the Major became more nervous with each passing second. "Yes, I know
what time it is. Get him on the phone. NOW!"

Ranma sat in a chair next to the principal's office. He was dreading
having to see the wacked out hawaiian schoolmaster. "Aloha Keiki! You be
seein' da big kahuna, no?"

Ranma groaned. He got up and wordlessly entered the domain of the most
insane member of the Kuno family. Ranma sat down across from his desk
while looking around for any hidden hair cutting devices. He
instinctively held on to his pig tail for luck.

"Ya bein' extra bad today, boy." The principal had a gleam in his tooth.
"You be needin' a new look." He pulled out a hair cutting instrument. "Or
shall I just sent ya 'ome so yous' parents 'an get ya into uniform."

Ranma debated the choice and came to an answer in five point four
milliseconds. "Send me home."

"Ah keiki! Yous' wanna miss out of yous' education? Why no wear proper
uniform? If yous' be girl, yous' get bowl cut an' wear dress. If yous' be
boy, yous' wear blue shirt an' pants." He put down his shears and stood
up with his hands firmly on his desk. "Ya bein' very bad to discipline
'ere. No 'ore special rules fo' ya. Ya be girl. Ya be boy."

"I'm a guy!"

"Then dress like big kahuna! No wear red shirt, you wear blue shirt 'ike
all other boy keiki. Now go, ya mother's coming to get you."

Ranma froze. "M-m-mother? My mother's coming here?"

"Mother, Aunt, I dunno. My keiki call ya home and they send someone to
get ya." He handed him a hall pass. "Go to da main office an' wait for yo
mother dere."

Ranma rolled his eyes then took the slip. He ran down the hall, toward
the front student entryway and stopped at his little cubby hole where he
stashed his shoes and bag of clothes. He snatched the bag and ran into
the men's restroom to change back into Ranko and wear the Furinkan girl's
uniform before his mother showed up and finds Ranko wearing the wrong
clothes. He hoped against all hope that his mother wasn't expecting to
pick up Ranma and that he could come up with an excuse as to why Ranko
was confused with Ranma.

Ranko finished putting on her stockings when she heard a familiar voice
call out for her. "Ranko? Where are you?"

Ranko thanked the gods since the voice belonged to Kasumi. She brushed
off her dress and folded the grocery bag shut then walked out to greet
her 'cousin'. She opened the restroom door to find Nodoka standing next
to Kasumi. Nodoka frowned at her niece. "Ranko, what's this about you
fighting at school?"

The red head grumbled and took back the kind words she spoke to the gods.
"I'm sorry Auntie. But Kuno won't leave me alone."

"We'll discuss this later." Her mother looked over her 'nieces' dress.
"Odd, your uniform seems to be in order. Why did the principal say she
wasn't wearing proper clothes?"

"Auntie, Let's just go. The principal is a loon and expects everyone to
have their head shaved." She rattled her brain to try to keep the focus
on Ranko. "I.. uh... refused to get a bowl cut."

Nodoka stood stunned at the thought of Ranko missing her long beautiful
hair. Kasumi nodded in agreement. "Mrs. Saotome, the principal is a
raving lunatic."

"I see. Very well, let's go home shall we? I'll write a letter to the
school board about this." She took her favorite Tendo by the hand and
escorted her out the front gates. "Oh by the way, Kasumi tells me that
you don't have very many pairs of proper underwear."

Ranko knew where this was going. This day was going further downhill

"I've decided to take you shopping." Nodoka gave a happy glow. "Won't
that be fun?"

Ranko did everything in her power to not show the utter revulsion she had
to the idea of going shopping for girl's underwear. "Yeah, Auntie.
Sound's like fun." She fought off the urge to bolt while returning a
happy smile to her mother.

Kasumi bowed to the pair. "I have to go shopping for groceries and
prepare dinner for tonight." She gave a sad look to Ranko. "Please Ranko,
have a good time." She glanced at Nodoka with a look of longing. She left
to go to the grocery store quietly thinking to herself. "Why doesn't
Ranma just tell her. I wish I could see my mother again."

Mrs. Saotome had to ask a question. "Ranko?"

"Yes Auntie?"

"Why were you in the men's restroom?"


Several hours and seven lingerie stores later...

Ranko sat at dinner listening to Nodoka complain about Ranko's eating
habits and then happily describe in painstaking detail each and every
store they visited in their shopping expedition. Akane on numerous
occasions giggled and laughed as the neverending list of bras and panties
were lovingly recollected in complete accuracy for the girls at the
table. Ranko wanted to curl up and die.

Nabiki needed to have some fun at Ranko's expense. "Oh Ranko, it seems
that you skipped out on your rendezvous tonight."

Ranko wanted to curl up Nabiki into unnatural shapes. "Rendezvous?"

Nodoka was overjoyed at the news. "You've got a boyfriend? Oh Ranko, how

Nabiki kept her poker face while continuing her torture of Ranko. "Yeah,
your friend Hiroshi from school called. He said you were supposed to meet
him after class. Something about an electronics project?" She held out
her hand in the commonly accepted practice of accepting a bribe.

Ranko ever so slightly nodded to agree to the terms of the extortion
while silently cursing Nabiki's very existence. "Oh Hiroshi. He's uh...
Just trying to show off his satellite dish thing."

Nodoka wanted to know this future son-in-law's life story. "Ranko, why
didn't you tell me that you have a boyfriend. Is he handsome?"

"Auntie, he's not my boyfriend. He's just a classmate at school." Ranko
twitched her head to give a signal to Nabiki to help get her out of this

"I'm sorry Mrs. Saotome. I meant to say appointment for her tutoring.
She's way behind at school and she studies at the library. Hiroshi is her
assigned study buddy."

Nodoka looked downcast but perked up a moment later. "Oh, well maybe you
might try to get to know him better."

Ranko shriveled up. "I can honestly say that he's not my type."

Akane turned beet red, put down her chopsticks and ran from the dining
room. Guffaws of hysterical laugher echoed from the outside of the house
as Akane lost control while sprinting to the dojo.

Nabiki smirked at a job well done.

Kasumi held up a serving spoon completely ignoring her sister's antics.
"Anyone want more rice?"

A panda whimpered outside as he looked at his bowl of yesterday's
leftovers and sniffed the fresh food inside. Soun slid a bowl of rice
over to his grateful animal friend.

The meal ended and Ranko excused herself then trudged up the stairs, down
the hall and into her room. She lay down on her bedroll to get some shut
eye to end this miserable day. "How could today get any worse?"

Outside, a rustling sounded as the resident pervert returned from his
nightly excursion. "What a haul!" He bounced into the room landing next
to Ranko. "C'mon sweetie! Put this on!" Happosai pulled out a very lacy
bra holding it out for Ranko to take.

Ranko pulled her covers over her face and moaned. "What did I do to
deserve this?"

Happosai took the moan for all the wrong perverted reasons. "Oh, I see
you're in the mood eh? Well then..." He started to drool and stuck his
tongue out to lick something he really shouldn't.

Ranko flared her battle aura, pulled her blanket down and slammed the
freak out of the window while he was thinking of doing something that
would terrify most creatures of the night. Ranko glared at the empty
space as the little man disappeared into the sky. Ranko slid the window
shut and locked it tight resisting the urge to grab wooden planks and
board up the window to prevent Happosai from returning. She brushed off
the remaining panties that Happosai left behind from her t-shirt then
went back to bed.

"Ok, now this day has been the most terrible on record." She snuggled in
her bedroll lamenting the events of the day. "Well, there's no way that
tomorrow could be any worse." She immediately regretted issuing the
challenge to the gods of chaos.

The hive was bustling with activity as the mothership settled into a
stable orbit around the planet the travelers would call home for the next
one thousand years. Many members of their society were happy that they
were chosen for be part of the first wave of settlers to breathe in the
fresh clean air of an unspoiled world.

Each first wave craft was massive in its own right. A black disk twenty
one kilometers across and five kilometers high with a flat bottom and a
curved top much like a frisbee. A tall spire jutted out of a concave
indentation on one side of the top that acted as the landing bay and
command center. Checklists were followed and final preparations were made
before departure from their home in space to the gravity well of a blue

Satellites around Earth were being fed a signal to synchronize the
attack. Displays all over the ships showed the same image of a sequence
of patterns that represented the time remaining before the cleansing was
to start. "All crew to your stations." The thought came across the bowels
of the mothership. Countless millions of aliens walked across giant
gantries and narrow tubes entering over thirty city sized flying saucers
for their trip to Earth. They entered their travel compartments and
strapped themselves in for a bumpy ride. The pilots set the shields for
entry into the atmosphere then held on for an exciting ride. The
passengers had the excitement of kids going on a rollercoaster at a theme

The countdown reached the next milestone and the access tubes sealed
shut. Five hundred meter wide clamps retracted allowing the ships to
freely move for the first time in centuries. One by one, the massive
vessels detached from the womb of the moon sized ship they called home
and followed the preplanned courses that would take them over their
designated landing spots. The plan was going like clockwork. Soon the
countdown would be over and the colonization of Earth would begin.

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and prevents me from filling your home with rice.

Last edited on March 2nd, 2003

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