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Sailor Ranko: The Harder They Fall: Chapter 8, Gone Fishing.
Rebecca Ann Heineman

Ranma 1/2 and the characters therein are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. Based on "Sailor Ranko" by Duncan Zillman and "Twice in a Millennium" by Kevin D. Hammel.

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or make me install a Microsoft product.

Nodoka was beside herself from what she heard on the receiver. She hung up the phone and went to Kasumi to give her the good news. "The escrow closed today! I'll have the money for my property tomorrow."

Kasumi stopped at the back door holding an empty laundry basket. "It did? That's wonderful."

"The buyer said the property was perfect and paid in cash! I can now look for a place with my son and daughter-in-law." Nodoka gleefully ran out the front door. She was going to start hunting for an apartment immediately.

Kasumi was very happy for Nodoka. Ranma's mother was finally going to spend a lot of time with her son. Kasumi watched Mrs. Saotome leave the front game. She smiled and went out to the backyard to bring in the laundry.

Nabiki arrived at the Tendo house shortly thereafter. She had a splitting headache courtesy of Sailor Sun's teleportation magic. She stumbled into the foyer and made it to the living room couch before she threw herself down on the cushions. Kasumi heard her sister come in. "Hello Nabiki."

"UGH." Nabiki was still recovering from her little trip via Sailor Sun express. "Not so loud big sister."

Kasumi peeked out from the laundry she was taking down for the evening. "Are you alright?"

Nabiki groaned. "I don't feel good."

Kasumi put the shirt she was holding down into the laundry basket. She went to her sister's side. "Can I get you something?"

"Just make the pretty colors go away." Nabiki rubbed her forehead.

Kasumi deduced that this wasn't a normal headache. "When did your headache start?"

"About two hours ago." Nabiki slowly sat up and paused as more pretty colors danced before her eyes.

"Oh, should I call Dr. Tofu?"

"I doubt he's ever seen this type of headache." The colors merged and flowed taunting Nabiki with more dazzling fireworks in her mind.

Kasumi was worried. "What type of headache is it?"

Nabiki didn't want to admit the truth. She had to admit it though. Maybe her sister might know how to deal with this headache since Nabiki was convinced her sister knew something about the Senshi. "Sis, I got teleported."

Kasumi was really worried. "Teleported? How?"

Nabiki sighed. "I'm sorry Kasumi. I should have listened to you. A Sailor Senshi left me on the top of Tokyo Tower."

Kasumi stood behind her seated sister. "You didn't do something to the Senshi did you?"

Nabiki was embarrassed to admit the truth. "I just snapped their picture." She raised her voice. "They didn't have to beam me across town. OUCH!" Kasumi rubbed Nabiki's temples and gave a gentle massage to relieve her headache.

Kasumi slowly shook her head. "You know that the Senshi value their privacy."

"Yeah. I guess. It's just that the red headed one... Uh... Sailor Sun I believe. I don't think she likes me at all. She gave me a really strange look and then grabbed me and then POOF! I was across town."

Kasumi burst out a laugh and then went quiet. She was happy that her sister didn't get abandoned on the Moon.

"What's so funny?" Nabiki relaxed as Kasumi massaged her shoulders and sent waves of pleasure down her neck.

"Oh nothing." Kasumi gave a knowing smile. She kneaded a pressure point she read about in one of Dr. Tofu's medical journals.

Nabiki let Kasumi's massage take effect. It made the headache go away. "Sis, how did you know this would get rid of my headache?"

"Lucky guess."

Nabiki was frustrated. She hated being kept in the dark. The massage felt good. For now, she didn't care. She was in paradise. She didn't want to interrupt the massage with any more questions. What questions? Ahhh... That felt good...


It was the late evening that Friday. A well-dressed Japanese man walked down the dock in the port of Okinawa. He was of medium build, tall for a Japanese man and wore sunglasses. He approached a group of Frenchmen working on a large high tech speedboat. The lead Frenchman saw the Japanese man approach and jumped from the boat onto the dock. They stopped only two meters from each other and stood there silently for a moment.

The Japanese man held out his hand for a handshake and spoke in fluent French. "Hello sir, my name is Tanaka and I represent the local insurance company. I understand that you provide insurance as well."

Philippe knew what this was all about. The man was from the Japanese Intelligence Agency. "That's correct." He handed Tanaka a business card.

Tanaka read the card. He grew stern and was blunt. "My firm has an exclusive contract to provide local insurance coverage. I don't think we are in any need of competition."

"Well, we are expanding into new markets. You never know when someone's needs may change."

"I agree. However I've found that sometimes the coverage may not be necessary." He glanced at the boat. "Your two insurance packages may not be suitable for the local area."

Philippe loved the spy banter. "Yes, not every package we offer fits every customer's needs. We are currently offering coverage in international waters."

Tanaka gently nodded. "As long as the coverage is in international waters and doesn't extend to our local franchise, we can use it. It's a shame that our firm doesn't offer similar protection." He turned to leave. "Make sure that your insurance packages stay in international waters. Good day Philippe Roache, and tell the Worm Guy good day as well."

Philippe was angry. He knew their cover had been blown. He was going to have an inquiry started in France when he got back as to how the Japanese found out about the bombs. He got onto the boat. "Men, we are going to have to set sail shortly. We've been asked by Japan to leave the area."

Paul, the lead commando, was preparing for the worst. "Is the mission scrubbed?"

"No. We've been given permission to continue in international waters. Where's Nick?"

Paul pointed his thumb to the main cabin. "He's inside. Godzilla was just sighted and he's figuring out where it will appear next."

"Good. Prepare the ship for launch." Philippe felt the side of the two-man helicopter sitting on the back of the boat. "We've only got one shot at this."

Philippe went into the cabin and saw Nick pouring over a large map of southern Japan. Nick shouted, "I got it!"

Philippe spoke in English. "You have the location?"

"Yes." He pointed to a circle on the map. "Godzilla attacks a town to feed. It then swims out to deep water when he stays until the fish supply runs out and then he swims back to shore. Here." He shows some lines connecting the islands and spots where the water was very deep. "It's a typical migration path for a creature looking for a new hunting ground."

"Why now? Why didn't this thing show up earlier?"

"It probably took it this long to grow to its current size. As it gets larger, it needs more food. It's simply hungry."

Philippe thought about their last encounter with Godzilla. "What if it's pregnant?"

"Then we had better take it out before it lays those eggs." Nick felt bad. There was no other way to deal with the problem.

Philippe nodded. He went above deck. "Paul, we have the location where the creature will be. We need to drop sonar buoys in a grid pattern and wait for our guest to arrive."

Paul turned to his men. "Let's move out!"


It was after business hours and Ukyou was in the alley by her restaurant practicing with her new battle spatula. She was at one with her new weapon. It felt so right in her hand. It was an extension of her body and she flowed with the grace of a dancer and she spun her arms and finished her display of skill. Konatsu stood off to the side in awe at the beauty Ukyou possessed.

Ukyou attached her spatula onto her back. She focused her ki and pulled out her katana. She used a modified culinary martial arts kata with her new blade. As a chef, she was very skilled in the use of blade weapons. A katana was another blade with special needs as far as Ukyou was concerned. She moved through her motions slowly at first. Focusing her energy on the presence of the blade. She spun it around her head and held it aloft.

She approached an empty crate that Konatsu had placed a cabbage on. She closed her eyes and gave a few quick strokes with the sword. The cabbage fell apart in ten even slices like the petals of a flower. She opened her eyes and tapped the top of the crate with the tip of the blade and the top half of the crate slid off at a thirty degree angle onto the ground.

Ukyou examined the gray metal blade. There was no trace of wood or cabbage on it at all. Ukyou sheathed her weapon and picked up the cabbage slices. She'll grate them later for Okonomiyaki batter. Practice was over for the evening.


It was a Saturday morning at the Tokyo zoo. The curator shuffled some papers around and saw everything seemed to check out. "I see your credentials are in order." He was amazed that the girl sitting across from him wanted to dye her hair pink. Pink hair was very a unusual color for a biologist. "I'll have my assistant escort you around to the exhibits you need." He buzzed the intercom. "Can you have Hiroshi come into my office?"

The voice box cackled and replied with a lot of static. "Yes sir."

"Someday we'll get that replaced. Now Miss Tsukino, what research are you performing?"

Usa Tsukino sat across the zoo curator in a smart business suit and looked like a woman of twenty-five years of age. She had used her moon disguise pen to pass as a biologist. "Actually, I'm here for historical research."

"Historical research?"

"Yes, I'm studying the history of certain animal species and need to get some blood samples for comparison to earlier creatures. I'm doing a thesis on DNA evolution and genetic changes over time."

The curator smiled. He hoped that this paper would generate some interest in the zoo to keep the politicians from cutting their budget again. "Please make sure our facilities are mentioned favorably in your paper." His assistant entered the room. "Hiroshi, please escort Miss Tsukino around wherever she needs to go."

Usa stood up and gave a bow. She walked out the door with a cathead shaped balloon following her. She had a list of animals she needed to pay a visit too.


A speedboat glided on the water off the southern coast of Japan. Every few minutes, a small object was tossed into the water. Paul checked his map. "That's the last of them."

Maurice turned the boat and sped to the center of the sonar buoy grid. If Godzilla were traveling eastward, they would find it. They didn't wait long.

PING! Francis was monitoring the sonar grid. "I've got something."

Paul viewed the console. "Location?"

"Seven kilometers south by southeast."

Paul was pleased. "Looks like we get to go home soon. Maurice, make our heading south by southeast."

Maurice turned the boat and they went at full speed. Paul briefed the men. "Mission time will begin shortly. Once we get to the location, Victor and Albert will chum the water with the cow carcasses and the barrels of fish. Francis will confirm that our contact is indeed Godzilla. We can't afford to destroy someone's submarine."

He turned to Alain, "Prepare the packages. Once it's deployed we will rendezvous at this location. We'll confirm the kill." He pointed to a location on the map of Japan near Tokyo. "Either way, we leave after this mission is over."

"Why Tokyo?"

"We have a jet waiting for us there. It will take us back to France." He pointed to Nick. "He can settle for Japan Air Lines."

Nick groaned. "Gee, thanks guys."

They felt the boat slowing. Maurice called out. "We've traveled seven kilometers."

Francis checked the display. "It's moving in an erratic pattern. This is not a sub. I'm pretty sure this is the target." He sent out a ping from the boat and read the results. "Yes, I'm certain I've found the creature. Let's bait the water."

Paul called out. "You heard the man. Chum the water."

Victor and Albert ran to the front of the boat. Lashed to it were a dozen large steel barrels. They used a crowbar to pop the lid off of one and the smell of fish overwhelmed them. "Phew!" Albert turned to his partner. "The things we do for the glory of France."

Victor kicked the barrel and it fell into the sea. "I'm going to smell like this for weeks." They quickly threw the rest of the very smelly meat products into the ocean.

Maurice saw they had completed their work and he moved the boat slowly away from the red splotch on the ocean's surface. The rest of the men were busy untying the helicopter from the makeshift landing pad. Alain extracted the two pill shaped bombs from his metal suitcase and placed them into a canvas bag he tied to the inside of the helicopter. He wasn't taking any chances with a rough ride accidentally making him drop these things.

Paul went through the checklist for take off. Alain strapped himself in. Paul called out. "Am I clear?"

Victor checked the landing struts and gave thumbs up. Paul started the engine and in moments the helicopter took off. Maurice gunned the engine of the boat and it sped away northward. He needed to get as much distance as he could from ground zero.

Alain had a display of the sonar buoys information. It was not as good as the one on the boat but is was good enough to aim a ten-kiloton nuke with. He saw that the target was going to surface. He eyed the one-kiloton nuke and held his hand on top of it.

Down below, the water started churning. There was a feeding frenzy going on but it wasn't Godzilla. Dozens of sharks were dining on the buffet set out for them. Alain called it in. "Home base. I think it's not going to work. Looks like the local sea life is taking the bait."

Philippe slammed his first on the bridge console. "So close."

Francis had more bad news. "I've got two radar contacts approaching from the north."


"From the looks of it." He adjusted the signal. "Two ships are approaching the target area. They don't seem to see us."

"Crap! Maurice, turn to intercept them."

Maurice changed course.

Paul held the helicopter steady at five hundred meters above the drop zone. Alain kept his eyes on the console. "It's coming up. No wait. It's holding steady at a depth of two hundred fifty meters." He reached into the bag and pulled out the ten-kiloton device. It was very heavy. He had to use both hands to hold it. He unscrewed the lid and inserted the key. He armed the device. "Home base. We're deploying." He set the timer to two minutes; quickly screwed the ticking time bomb tightly shut and tossed it out the open hatch.

Alain shouted at the top of his lungs. "MOVE IT!"

Paul hit the engine and shot the helicopter skyward and away from the blast zone.

The white pill shaped bomb hit the water and sank quickly.

Francis shouted from his console. "They've deployed! Everyone take cover!"

Maurice got the signal and changed course again to Tokyo. He thought about the other vessels. "It sucks to be them."

Alain held his watch and counted down the seconds. He radioed the boat. "You've got one hundred five seconds to get the hell out!"

Maurice strapped himself into the pilot's chair. "Signal received." He shouted to everyone else. "Strap yourselves down NOW!"

Nick fumbled for a seat belt on the couch around the meeting table. He settled for diving under the table and assuming a crash position. Philippe grabbed a seat cushion and threw it on Nick to attempt to cover him while he tightened his own belt.

Alain called again. "Sixty seconds to detonation."

Maurice was sweating. "Which package was delivered?"


Maurice swore under his breath. He kept the boat straight and steady at full speed. He wasn't thrilled to be outrunning a nuclear bomb in a speedboat.

Paul gained altitude and lost a little speed. He strained the engine of the tiny copter.

Alain looked at his watch. "Thirty seconds." He looked at the sonar console. "Target is moving."

Paul kept focused of the helicopter controls. "Where?"

"It's moving slowly northward. It's still in range of the bomb."

Paul grinned. "Good."

Alain hit the transmit button. "Ten seconds. Brace for the shock wave." Alain covered his head. Paul lowered his visor.

Paul silently counted down. "Five... Four... Three..."

Maurice counted down. "Two... One..."

The ocean at ground zero rose up in a giant plume of white steam. Water rose out of the sea into the sky. The detonation was too deep for the mushroom cloud to form but the giant dome of water created a tidal wave that radiated in all directions. A massive cloud of white vapor covered the entire area.

Paul counted under his breath. "Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen..."

The air shifted and the helicopter felt the concussion wave. It was gentle and easy to ride. Paul breathed a sigh of relief. "Looks like we rode it out."

Alain lifted his head and saw the dots on his monitor were blank. "The buoys aren't working. They must have been knocked out."

Maurice kept the boat at top speed. The boat shook as a pressure wave went by. He only had to do minor corrections to keep the boat on track. "That was not so bad." He locked the controls and looked out the window to see behind the boat. He saw that white cloud rising into the sky. He smiled and went back to the controls and set it back to manual. "Danger is over. Francis, what do you have?"

"Some of the buoys are out. I'm getting signals everywhere. There are massive amounts of debris down there. It's going to take some time before everything sorts itself out."

Philippe undid his straps. "Francis, keep checking. I want to make sure it's dead. Victor, Albert, we'll go and get the pad ready for landing." He ran out on deck.

Nick peeked out of from under table. "Is it over?"

Francis stared at his console. "I think so."


It was an hour before sunset. A speedboat was moored at a pier in Tokyo bay. Most of the men had already left for the airport. Philippe, Alain and Nick stayed behind to watch the boat and helicopter. Alain was waiting for a secure vehicle to arrive before they took the last package off the boat while Nick and Philippe listened to radio broadcasts to see if there were any new Godzilla sightings. They were not taking any chances. Japan had already issued a cover story to take away the heat from the French.

Philippe went topside to smoke a cigarette. His near death experience gave him an excuse to forget about cancer and enjoy a puff. He saw a flash appear near the end of the dock and a red headed girl in a red mini-skirt ran off. "I should ask to be assigned investigate her." He gave a lecherous grin and quickly ignored her. Japan had made it quite clear in the spy circles that the Senshi were to be left alone. Philippe thought the Senshi were just too weird.


Ranko arrived at work and started waiting on the dinner crowd. Everyone was talking about the explosion at sea and some undersea volcano explosion might have killed Godzilla.

Ranko pulled out her communicator and called Ami. "You heard the news? It sounds like that big lizard died in a volcano?"

Ami was checking her little computer. "You sure? I detected some sort of a tremor but it wasn't volcanic."

"Well that's what's on the news. Gotta go. I've got to clock in." Ranko shut off her communicator and shoved it in her kimono. She clocked in and read the specials of the day so she could be a good waitress. Ranko was starting to hate this job. She badly wanted a job that used her martial arts skills instead of being a cute girl selling raw fish.


Diana was waiting for Usa in her bedroom. Usa finally arrived. Diana was upset. "What took you so long?"

"Diana, you know I hadn't seen a panda since the last time I was in the 21st century." Usa was back to her normal guise of a short skirt and light pink blouse. She held her time key necklace out and gazed at the simple beauty of it. She pushed it back inside her shirt and made sure it was out of sight.

Diana wagged her tail and watched her friend. "You know what's happening tonight. You've got to get ready."

Usa nodded. "I know Diana. I just wish I had more time."

"Time is something we don't have an abundance of." Diana looked out the window at the night sky. "We wait for the signal. Until then, we just sit here." She gave a hostile stare at Usa. "You understand right?"

Usa closed her eyes and began a kata. "I understand."

"What are you doing?"

"Since I can't go anywhere, I'd better get myself ready and keep myself in shape." She began to execute some difficult martial arts moves.

"I swear Sailor Sun is a bad influence on you." Diana curled up and lay down.


The Tokyo harbor control was monitoring some sonar buoys they had activated when the Godzilla attacks had begun. They registered a reading. PING!

The harbormaster ordered. "Nihon Oil vessel five. You are to hold position until the tugboats arrive to take you to pier fourteen." PING!

"Huh?" He pushed his chair to the sonar console. He had a large contact. He wheeled back. "Nihon Oil vessel five. I told you to hold position."

The ship's captain called back. "We are at a dead stop sir."

The harbormaster scratched his head. "I've got you on sonar moving at twenty knots."

"You must be mistaken. We are dropping anchor as we speak. We are currently... What the hell?" A loud roar was heard on the speaker.

The harbormaster went cold. "Oh crap."


"Would you like Miso soup or a light salad with your meal?" Ranko batted her eyes to ensure a good tip. She froze as she felt her danger sense go off. She formed a drop of sweat. She barely heard the distant roar.

"I'll have the soup." The gentleman ordered.

"I'd like the salad but no dressing please." His wife ordered.

Ranko wrote down the order. "Thank you. I'll be back shortly." She bowed and walked briskly to the kitchen and out of sight.


Nick ran out from below deck. "Was that what I thought it was?"

Philippe was already holding a French FN-FAL assault rifle. He was grabbing clips and stuffing them into his coat pockets. "Alain, get the package." Alain ran to the hidden compartment inside. He turned to Nick. "How did it follow us?"

Nick bit his nails. "It couldn't have seen us. Our motor's off so sound couldn't be it." He caught wind of the aroma wafting from the boat. The smell of fish from the bow was very pungent. "Oh no."

Nick ran to the bow of the vessel. Three of the drums had the contents dumped into the sea but a lot of the fish goo was still on the bow. "Ah shit!" He ran back to Philippe. "It smells the boat. It followed us here by scent."

Philippe rubbed his five o'clock shadow that had formed under his chin. "I guess we need to dunk ourselves in perfume. For now I'd say running is our best option."

Alain popped out from below with a canvas bag around his neck. He picked up a rocket launcher. "Running is our only option." He pointed behind him as he ran down the dock.

Nick and Philippe turned around and saw Godzilla walking in the water towards the boat. They both looked at each other and yelled. "I'M OUTTA HERE!" They ran for it.


Ranko was in the ladies room holding her scout communicator. "Ami, something is happening near Tokyo bay. Can you check it out?"

Ami had a look of fright. "There's something big going on. The news is reporting that they are ordering an evacuation of Tokyo."

"An evacuation?" An air raid siren went off. "Oh man."

"Ranko, go find out what's going on. I'll call the other scouts to meet you there."

"Right!" Ranko put her communicator back in her kimono. She fluffed her hair and went back to the restaurant.

The place was in chaos. Everyone was running outside. THUMP! Ranko felt the ground shake. She ran to the window and saw something move behind a building next to the water. THUMP! She ran back to the restroom. "Sun Star Power! Make Up!"

Sailor Sun ran outside to the rapidly clearing street. She saw two Frenchman run by. They caught her attention since one was carrying a canvas bag like it was filled with precious jewels and the second was holding a huge assault weapon. THUMP! She saw what they were running from.

Godzilla stood over fifty meters in the air and was looking at a speedboat with a helicopter attached to it. The massive creature lifted its foot into the air and smashed the boat into tiny pieces. The ground shook from the impact. It gave a roar of triumph.

Sailor Sun fell to the ground holding her ears. Sun fumbled around for her communicator and called Ami. "Mercury here."

"I've sighted the monster."

"Where is it?"

"Right outside my former job!" Ranko called out. She thought, "And I was making good money there too!"

"What does it look like?"

Sailor Sun saw the look on the creature's face. It was not happy. It's back was glowing blue. It was inhaling. "Mercury, it's green and pissed."

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and makes me stop putting your picture on milk cartons.

Last edited on January 25th, 2007

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